He only gets turned on by my feet and barely wants sex anymore

Ok, I stumbled upon this site looking for an answer to my apparantly not so popular question…I met this guy this past december and he liked me very shortly after we started talking online. He always told me how beautiful I was and how I don’t deserve for anyone to make me cry (because this asshole that I liked made me cry). He wasn’t really my type because he’s so shy and quiet and passive..but he grew on me. So we ended up having sex about a month after hanging out as friends, and we did it ALL the time…like 4-5 times a day. He would just be hard without me doing anything or after me barely touching him or just rubbing my leg against his…it wouldn’t take much, if anything at all, for him to be in the mood. We would literally do it, lay naked for about 30 minutes, then he’d just be hard out of the blue and just stick it in and we’d do it again, lay there for maybe an hour and then the same thing…it was a sexathon like no other lol. And it was DAILY for like a month…but then things slowly started deteriorating. And we had sex maybe twice a day, then it went to once a day, then once every other day, then once every 3 days…now it’s once or twice a week if I’m lucky. And 90% of the time I’m the one initiating it. And that’s not the part I’m most concerned about. The part that I’m completly baffled and borderline annoyed by is that he pretty much only gets turned on (e.g. “gets it up” ) when he licks, sucks, touches, or somehow plays with my feet! He’s always had a mild foot fetish with me but it was never like this. He never tries to make out with me…he never was really a make out before sex kind of guy. Was never really into foreplay…which is unfortunate. And it’s bad enough that he doesn’t initiate it but now when I want it I have to basically stick my foot in his face and regardless of whether he LIKES that or not, it makes me feel awkward doing that!! Ok, enough of my rambling. Does anyone out there have a CLUE why he is like this all of a sudden? Why he only gets turned on by my feet, never initiates sex even though we’ve talked about him initiating it more, doesnt like foreplay, and most of all doesn’t have sex with me more than once or twice a week…with ME asking for it… anymore???

Answer #1

Ok so he was not good at giving you oral. right there and then you could of said hey “you go down on me like so for how long I choose otherwise I wont let you do the foot thing.. of worship down there like you do my feet etc” As for not being as romantic towards you maybe he didnt even know. There are some relationships that start off romantic others not, but for the ones that are deeper into the relationship, I’m guessing a guy will ask him self does she still like me, I’m always buying stuff for her or doing this or that and trying to be romantic, does she notice or take it for granted? how long can I keep this up for? how is she being romantic towards me besides the bedroom. etc etc But if your smart! YOU will call him!!!… and no doubt he will take you back. Foot fetsh guys are the hardest to find… but unlocking there dirty desire does make them very clingy, but its a good thing if you are interested in them for the long haul.. guaranteed if you did call him, even if its been days, months, or years even. He would still listen to you and would want to change for you, if you gave him a chance to fix his problem he would fix it, and besides any break up would make someone listen hard to there ex. It was only after the 3rd and final time we broke up for about a year an a 1/2 but during that break up my b/f had changed. Told me he got him self sorted out, took to much of a good thing with me. And will tread lightly if he was to be with me. He dosent even want to do the foot stuff sometimes. Even if I offer! Im so proud of him, does so much, and asks so little… But good luck with this guy and if not, well too bad, because you could of used it to your advantage.. and now some other girl will.. =)

Answer #2

I’ve talked to him about it soo many times and he just says that he hasn’t changed and that sex isn’t everything and I’m making it like I’m using him for sex… it’s like role reversal lol. People are telling me it’s because he worked to “get” me and after a month he finally got me as his girlfriend and I slept with him a bunch of times so now he think he doesn’t have to work as hard to keep me or something along those lines. He’s a very passive, quiet, keeps everything to himself kind of person so it’s hard to get anything out of him. I’m also afraid of “initiating” anything with him because I’m afraid he won’t want it and will just be going along with it to do me a favor basically. I always think about just jumping on him and ripping his clothes off and I always tell myself I’m gonna do it and then I never do lol…he just makes me feel awkward because of the way he is. When he wants it, he’ll either say “Wanna do it?” or take off my socks and go to town on my feet lol. He never does anything else like kisses me or touches me or ANYTHING of that nature. Oh, and he only went down on me once for about 10 seconds and since then he won’t do it. He says it’s because he’s “not good at it” (He only went down on one other girl one time for about 5 seconds)…I never had any other complaints from guys giving me oral sex… But he basically just doesn’t seem interested in sex anymore..he told me before we had sex and before I showed any interest in him, he used to jerk off to my picture every night! So wtf happened?? If he’s bored with me, why doesn’t he just get rid of me? And if he’s bored, why does he tell me he loves me all the time and is SUPER cuddly and affectionate? (Just not sexually)

Answer #3

Maybe you could of been the first girl to let him do that and it went straight to his head. because most girls no doubt consider it dirty or not natural or weird… Did you even sit him down an have a “we have to talk” chat and do this outside the bedroom so you know hes just being nice b’because of the location.. an tell him to lay off a bit with the FFetish or else… Maybe he didnt even know what he did wrong, or maybe he did but cant fix it all by himself since it takes two people to fix a problem in a relationship… You should of told him the situation then or even right now an make him rethink his actions, Like who’s to say he could be a virgin foot fetish type of guy, or could of told you its not his first time to not scare you away or make himself appear strange… you popped his cherry an now he will do anything for you…

But its like any relationship it gets stonger when you mend the problems… =) All I know is that my current b/f used to be like that and he must really love me to do such a thing!! I dont really get it either but but hey it feels good and he wants to do it. But really why do guys want to do that? I overcome my little problem by talking to him it took a while but I did it b’because I am in love with him.. And I know if he really is in love with me, he would listen and change his actions in due time for a committed relationship or not depending on his actions.. When will us girls realize its easier to train a guy the way we want… when A guy is IN LOVE with you, not just ‘Loves you” etc they will do anything for you!! why let one bump spoil a whole chance of something that

could of been but now isint.

Answer #4

I think the novelty has worn off. Too much sex TOO soon. During the early phase of a relationship, during the “in love” or “infatuation” stage, it’s common for a lover to see his partner as an ideal of what he or she really is. After a reasonable time, from weeks to months, that illusion shatters and reality sneaks in. I dont think you should keep bugging him about having more sex when he really doesn’t want to. It might be turning him off a bit. You should actually be pleased that he places more importance on other things than simply having sex. A long term relationship based primarily on sex won’t last.

As far as him not liking/wanting to give you oral…try to look at the situation in reverse. Suppose your partner asked you to do something to him that you found disgusting. Would you still do it? Sure you can tell yourself that you’re doing it to please your partner but then doesn’t sex stop being fun for you now that you’re doing something you don’t like? I’m not saying you should stop asking him to do it. I’m just saying that you should think about whether it’s right to pressure him into doing something he doesn’t like and think about how you would react if he did the same to you. After all, you don’t want to create any resentment.

Answer #5

It’s hard to answer. All I know he should be treating you much better. If you are feeling frustrated, he should be addressing your needs. There’s no excuse for him not to be communicating to you openly.

He might have a low sex drive compared to you. He might be very tired, but he should be explaining that.

He might want to have sex less because each time is special for him. Again, he should say that.

If he’s shy, he might think that he’s not satisfying you. He might be intimidating or scared.

He might be playing a mind game to get you to do something else, like a threesome or something. That’s probably not it, but I’ve seen it happen.

You deserve to be happy. He needs to know that and the way you’re being treated is not keeping you happy.

Answer #6

Is there anything in his life that is going on? Is he having family or work issues? Have you talked to him about it?

I’d hate to mention it, but if he’s not depressed, it sounds like he might be bored. This isn’t your fault. If he is important to you, then it might be best to ask him what’s going on.

If it’s worth it, then how about sex with new outfits, different locations (outside, the beach, the car, elevator) role playing, toys, porn, etc. Maybe he’s a thrill seeker or adrenalin junkie. Who knows. It sounds like his problem, not yours.

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