Has anyone been rejected by family besides myself?

Yes I have ,

I am 54years old ,lost my husband when he was 37 years old with cancer and I was left with 3 children aged 7,9,11 . When he died farm was financially in a mess .Looking bacn now my elder sister was gloating on it and my elder brother wanted what I had at a price ! At that time I needed support from my family emotionally but that did not happen .My father was my rock and support at that time and would talk to me ,he died suddenly 6 months later .All too much to take . After a few years decided to get work done on land by other people ,this did not go down well with family . I was always close to my younger brother he has been turned against me also by my mother,elder sister and elder brother . I feel so unloved ,so regected by family ,despair I feel is overwhelming to the point I have even thought of suicide . I have tried to make ammends with family several times to no avail and feel everything is my fault everytime I go out I feel I am looking over my shoulder so therefore dont go out much as they all live locally . My children have all grown up and done well .I have remarried to a most caring understanding man ,However regection from family causes me such pain to this day . Can anyone out there give me some advice and help.I have been for counselling but the pain of regection will not go away .

I’m 61y/o and I’ve been more and more rejected since childhood. The most recent is the most serious and had me in grief, until I soothed myself by reading all of your posts.

My older sister has been writing herself checks out of my mom’s checking account. I decided to hold on to 24K of my mom’s money and now my sister is furious. She’s back east, and is in control of almost all of my mom’s assets, and she’s “paying herself” for going to visit my mom and things like that. She’s taken, through ‘gift’ and through theft, tens of thousands of dollars. My mom would go nuts if she knew, she has Alzheimer’s. And my sister is a functioning alcoholic.

My sister is terribly jealous and angry about me. Even my wife, a level headed professional woman, said: “David, your sister doesn’t like you.” They Hate that I (the one who was always told to “shut up”) have the most stable and joyful life. Over the years we’ve put out a lot of money for my mom and sister. But my sister is angry, rigid and unappreciative.

What is scary to me is that my sister is best friends with my cousin. Her daughter is here in CA. My other cousin, who used to be my best friend, hasn’t emailed me back. My sister is probably lying to them, and I feel like the outcast again-even though I left Boston and moved to CA back in 1973. I sense an ostracism and it’s not unlike the sadness I had as a kid.

This thing feels so evil. My parents had started the ostracism, and now my sister is spreading it to my cousins and their kids. It hurts more b/c my wife and I don’t have kids, and we were happy to have my 2nd cousin out here. Now I fear that she’s been infected with the news that “we’re” the ones who are malicious, and it’s my sister who is doing the right thing by my mom.

They all have it in reverse. I studied family psychology in school, b/c it’s my field of work. But I never read about the Long Term Rejections that we’re talking about here. This is bad energy we’re talking about. I feel like I’m being hated, and it reminds me of the times I’d cry each night at the dinner table as they rejected me to my face. Thanks for hearing me,,,really David

I wouldnt say I have such a horrible story but my parents are divorced and I am the outcast of my family. whenever my moms side of the family is all together everyone appreciates my cousin, who is the same age, so much more than me. whenever I try to say something she usually tries to take the attention away and everyone compliments how smart and funny she is. she’ll get critisized once and make a comment about it and everyone feels bad yet I get crtisized all the time. my personality jsut doesnt fit in with all of theirs and its annoying because im always left out but I figure whenever im with them its not for that long so I try to just stick it out and it makes me appreciate my dad so much more since he’s the only one I actually get along with which sucks because I only get to see him twice a month…but thats my story

I feel comforted to know that I am not the only one whose mother hated them since childhood (for what reason?), and whose father never defended them. My brothers felt my mothers contempt, and treated me the same. This contempt carried into adulthood, and even to my own children. All my life feeling lonely, and rejected for reasons I could never pinpoint.

How is it possible a family can behave this way. I have walked away for good because I just don’t accept being treated badly anymore, or my children being treated badly.

I wish life could be different.

I have known the pain of rejection since I was four years old asking my dad where is mummy? all he could do is look very sadly at me. I was the youngest of 6 kids mum had ran off with the baker and my eldest sister.subsequently all my other siblings followed her within months. 5 years later I too went live with her and the baker she d married and my older siblings, told by my father that she only wanted me to get the house of him and sold for the proceeds.

JESUS CHRIST HEALS AND REMOVES THE PAIN OF REJECTION HE DID IT FOR ME

I have been rejected by my family, and I am not sure why. No one will tell me. My father will talk to me still, but when I ask for a phone number to call one of my brothers, he won’t give it to me, or tell me why not. They all go on great vacations together, and I am not invited. My dad, his wife, and my brothers and their families will get together and not invite me. I miss my brothers very much. I have always loved them, and looked up to them. It really hurts that they don’t have that same love for me. I just wish someone would tell me why. I would rather be insulted than ignored.

My parents got divorced when I was younger. My father is a big-time alcoholic and he also has the medical condition, MS. He once told my mother that his beer would always come before her, me, and my brother. When they first got divorced my mother would have to call my dad to make sure that he called us. He called us all of once or twice a week for the first few years. Once the MS started kicking in, he started losing people because no one would put up with his sh!t. so he started calling us more and saying that he cared, but he STILL drank. He would call us up when he was drunk, he’d be pulled over for DUI. He got me and him in a car accident once. The alcohol really effects his MS and it helps it move along faster and effect his brain more. he IS killing himself and he doesn’t realize how selfish he is being. He got his lisence taken away and was put on probation, he wasn’t allowed in bars, drinking alcohol, having alcohol in his house, or being around people while they drank. His probation IS NOT up and he has started drinking again and calling us while being drunk. Me and my brother haven’t visited him in over 3 months and he says he misses us, but if he did he’d get the point and stop, but my father does things only for himself, he comes first. It’s really quite horrible and hurts me, and it has caused me to have some serious trust issues : (

So cool this site is out here. I am so low with melancholy, and here we are at the holidays. For years my mom, brothers and sisters have been tight - excluding me. We all used to be close, but my older step siblings from my mom’s first marriage were always kinda jealous of how I was treated like a princess from my dad (mom’s 2nd husband). My dad died when I was 9, and my life changed forever. My older step-siblings bullied my mom, and acted more like my guardians than my siblings. My mom drank, and handed over her responsibility to them. It was a harsh upbringing. I just got a call from my famliy about Xmas…ah…umm…we aren’t…well we aren’t really doing anything for Xmas, so make your own plans. (They have done this before, and I have accidentally found out they had all gone on vacation or something – it is such a powerful pain, I can’t tell you). Even my younger sister (from my dad too), is close with them, and tells me right out that she is a “member” of the family, but that I will never be. I have tried distancing myself from them (and emotionally I did GREAT). I plan on doing that again, as I am planning on moving back to Austin (where I took my first break). My son is also not treated as well as my younger sister’s kids. I don’t get it, how can people be that way. One hint I have is that they are all using prescription drugs or alcohol, and I am recovery for almost 10 years. But it started before that. Anyway, thanks for the place to read and write about this hurtful stuff. I have rolled over and played dead long enough. Nothing changes if nothing changes, so I am going to start the change with me.

Count me in pal, How I wish to talk to people in my situation.

Even growing up I had always felt excluded. Pushing 50 soon, haven’t talked with family for more than 8 years. btw I am a naturalized US citizen having lived away from my country of birth for 23 years, so I have been basically away from my family home for a very long time. I used to visit them every 4 years on average. 8 years back was my last trip. Actually I walked out of the family house right after my sisters marriage. The reason was me and my own family consisting of wife, and 2 young wonderful kids were completely and thoroughly rejected by the family I was born in. My family consists of Father, mother, 2 brothers, 2 sisters, the last unmarried sister was getting married. Various scenarios resulted in various insults, exclusions, rejections. I decided painful as it was to walk away from that home and not look back. My self respect was all I had so I walked out never to look back. I know they don’t care, I haven’t called them, they don’t care if I live or die.

The person who disliked me most was my mother. It is totally Bull* when people say a mother cannot hate her child. I feel angry when I hear that. I could sense the contempt, the utter dislike even over the phone when I spoke with her, let alone in her presence.

To date I haven’t come across anyone in the world who hates me more than my mother. The sad part is she doesn’t hate any of her other children, and I happen to be the oldest. My father never used to dislike me, but he loves his wife (my mother), and he will believe anything she says. Since I have been away from home for so long I can sense contempt from him.

My family back home is very wealthy even according to US standards, they probably think I want their property. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I don’t want anything from them except treat me with RESPECT, and I will treat you with RESPECT.

I don’t think I am a bad person, I really try to be friendly with them, I don’t want anything from them. I am reasonably doing well, I would say upper middle class. I don’t follow any religion, simple philosophy. just go by my conscience if it feels right then it must be right, if it feels wrong then it must be wrong. I listen to my conscience, and as far as I am concerned I am not doing anything bad as long as I don’t hurt others. I have some terrible habits, but no one is affected adversely by it except myself.

Sorry that was long, I have visited various forums but you came the closest to my situation. You seem to be a young fellow compared to me, but share my pain, and I will share yours.

Peace and Love

Count me in pal, How I wish to talk to people in my situation.

Even growing up I had always felt excluded. Pushing 50 soon, haven’t talked with family for more than 8 years. btw I am a naturalized US citizen having lived away from my country of birth for 23 years, so I have been basically away from my family home for a very long time. I used to visit them every 4 years on average. 8 years back was my last trip. Actually I walked out of the family house right after my sisters marriage. The reason was me and my own family consisting of wife, and 2 young wonderful kids were completely and thoroughly rejected by the family I was born in. My family consists of Father, mother, 2 brothers, 2 sisters, the last unmarried sister was getting married. Various scenarios resulted in various insults, exclusions, rejections. I decided painful as it was to walk away from that home and not look back. My self respect was all I had so I walked out never to look back. I know they don’t care, I haven’t called them, they don’t care if I live or die.

The person who disliked me most was my mother. It is totally Bull* when people say a mother cannot hate her child. I feel angry when I hear that. I could sense the contempt, the utter dislike even over the phone when I spoke with her, let alone in her presence.

To date I haven’t come across anyone in the world who hates me more than my mother. The sad part is she doesn’t hate any of her other children, and I happen to be the oldest. My father never used to dislike me, but he loves his wife (my mother), and he will believe anything she says. Since I have been away from home for so long I can sense contempt from him.

My family back home is very wealthy even according to US standards, they probably think I want their property. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I don’t want anything from them except treat me with RESPECT, and I will treat you with RESPECT.

I don’t think I am a bad person, I really try to be friendly with them, I don’t want anything from them. I am reasonably doing well, I would say upper middle class. I don’t follow any religion, simple philosophy. just go by my conscience if it feels right then it must be right, if it feels wrong then it must be wrong. I listen to my conscience, and as far as I am concerned I am not doing anything bad as long as I don’t hurt others. I have some terrible habits, but no one is affected adversely by it except myself.

Sorry that was long, I have visited various forums but you came the closest to my situation. You seem to be a young fellow compared to me, but share my pain, and I will share yours.

Peace and Love

I have been rejected and I dont know why. Im 22 years old and I havent spoken or seen my family for a year and month. I was always close with my family. Sure we had disagreements but in the end we got along. There were no huge issues. Up until a year and a half ago my dad was my best friend. We used to be close. The past time I talked to him, I phoned him to wish him Happy Bday and he said he would call me back he was having dinner with his family. I thought what was I the family dog, course even the family dog was invited for dinner. It didnt happen all of a sudden but slowly I’ve been pushed away. My birthday went by no one phoned. I would call and they would say we will call you back or im busy right now well talk later. How many times can you shoot a person down before they wont get back up again? Christmas came I waited for someone to let me know about the Christmas plans but there was no call. I spent xmas staring out the window trying to figure out whats wrong with me. I still do that today. There has to be something wrong with me b/c families dont treat one another this way. I’ve tried to pretend it doesnt bother me. I’ve tried throwing myself into school and work adn to keep busy but im still out in the cold.I’ve missed my nieces birthday and graduation from preschool to kindergarden. Shes so special and so cute, She looks like Cindy loo who off of the Grinch. It would be different I supposed if there was some reasoning for this or something I did but I cant think of anything bad enough to cause total abandonment. Its killing me slowly. I’ve talked to therapists till I was blue in the face. Its not helping. Medication doesnt help b/c there is no cure for this feeling. You cant make it all better with antidepressants because in the end my family still isnt there and I still dont know why and its very hard to tell yourself its ok when your spending xmas alone and when you lay down at night to go to sleep and you think to yourself “if I were to die in my sleep no one would notice”.

yeah, my parent’s fight all the time, and they are playing on getting a divorce. my dad called my school, and told the teachers now everyone knows, I am 14. and everyone is treating me different

My mother is a schizophrenic alcoholic and my father a paedophile. He is also a closet homosexual, certainly nothing wrong with that unless you marry women, have sex with them enough times to conceive a child, then ignore them physically while you sleep with men on the side. He molested me from infancy to adolecence. I ceased contact with him when I was fourteen after he beat me badly during a school holiday visit. Then when I was thirty my stepmother contacted me and I allowed them back into my life. I was told of my stepmother’s alcoholism, my father’s violent behaviour towards her and their two daughter’s (just what he did to my mother and I), and the accusations from family and friends that my father was molesting my two half sister’s while my stepmother was in and out of rehab. After three years of contact I was forced to cut them out of my life once and for all for they were so incredibly toxic and f*d up. Ultimately I never had a healthy relationship with my father, I do not believe he is capable of love, and he certainly never loved me. Of course I know I will never hear from them again, and although I am happy with this, at the same time it is so horribly depressing. My schizophrenic mother I was forced to cut out of my life a number of months ago as her condition continued to deteriorate and I could no longer tolerate her chaotic insanity and cruelty. Her father, my maternal grandfather, also molested me over many years during childhood (very likely he also molested my mother which was why she was attracted and eventually married my father). Because of my mother’s mental health, we lived in different states from my father and her parents, and because she refused to cope with the responsibilities of motherhood, every school holidays she would send me to spend half of it with my father then the other half with her parents. For many years I was travelling alone on planes eight times a year, from the age of five. And because I was sent so far away from anyone I knew I was utterly helpless and at the complete mercy of my father and maternal grandfather. I repeatedly told my mother what was happening but she refused to believe me. Eventually I began to block it all out until I became an expert at traumatic memory repression. I am thirty four, have not been able to work for six months due to the chronic depression and suicidal thoughts I suffer from (in fact have suffered from for as long as I can remember), I have no friends, no family, no money and the person who has known me the longest is my therapist. I hope that others who read my story will feel that they are not alone, that although their experiences may have made them feel like total fruit loops, freak shows and doomed to disaster, please never give up hope. I still haven’t, and one day when I am better that is what I want to spend the rest of my life doing. I know what it’s like to live in the pits of despair, I know what it’s like to be abused and abandoned. Attending twelve step groups has been of immense help to me as I had thought I was the only one in the world who suffered as much as I did. Love and Light to you all.

I have been rejected by my family, and I am not sure why. No one will tell me. My father will talk to me still, but when I ask for a phone number to call one of my brothers, he won’t give it to me, or tell me why not. They all go on great vacations together, and I am not invited. My dad, his wife, and my brothers and their families will get together and not invite me. I miss my brothers very much. I have always loved them, and looked up to them. It really hurts that they don’t have that same love for me. I just wish someone would tell me why. I would rather be insulted than ignored.

I am in the same situation. Haven’t spoken to family in 3 years. I have three siblings. My mom suffered from depression most of the time I was growing up and just spent her days “napping” on the couch. In the meantime, my siblings were bullying me. I tolerated things into adulthood until both my parents past away within the same year. They wanted me to be the caregiver for them both and I did the best I could, travelling halfway across the country to care for them. But I guess it wasnt good enough. I continue to get bad mouthed to this day to other family members, aunts, etc. I dont have any children and suffer from depression myself. Like another poster stated earlier, I think about dying and no one in my family caring or even wanting to know.

I’ll start with a lot of my situation and end with some advice to the younger people who have posted or viewed this page.

I’m turning 40 in a month. This is a reflective time for me and so I feel the pain of my dear families rejection more than ever.

History…I moved back to Colorado 10 years ago, hoping that the reason I moved out of state at barely 18 and right after graduation, had changed. I graduated HS with a high gpa, honors and the ambition to go to college. The reason I mention this, is it was against enormous odds that I even graduated at all. I lived on my own a year of HS and when home, there was always contempt toward me and I always felt enormous stress. I made my own way to the many extra curricular activities and numerous times had to explain to other parents and teachers, why mine weren’t involved. In my home growing up, there was constant yelling and my step father simply has hated me since I can remember. He also hates my older sister and has done and said the most horrible things to both of us. His own daughter who is 14 years younger is treated like a completely different person than my older sister and I. He tells her we are crasy and has basically turned her and our own Mother, against us. But I often wonder how my own Mother can turn her back the way she has since I can remember. I was reminded from a young age on by my stepfather that I was just lucky to have a roof over my head. He would get violent and I witnessed him throwing my Mother through the front door and off the porch as well as pushing me and my sister around, etc, etc. He packed our bags in the middle of the night and that’s when my sister went to live with grandma. Thank God for small miracles, bc I think that in the long run my older sister was better off with my instable, but good hearted grandma. My Mom begged for me to stay. I was like this little slave robot that would do tons of chores, baby sit my little sister instead of have time with teenage friends etc. I was also my Mothers sole counselor and one of her only friends. So she needed me around. My older sister would say “ouch” when it hurt and was unwilling to be compassionate to parents who had zero compassion for her. I was very different and thought if I tried hard and was perfect maybe things would change. That was a big mistake on my part and has set me up for a pattern of failure and resentment. On rare occasions my Mother would seem to warm to me for a few days or weeks. Those were times of bliss that kept me always bravely taking all their negative, so I could have a little of her sunshine again. I could see how beaten down her spirit had become and she herself would say he was killing her spirit slowly. That will always hurt me so, bc I love my mother deeply and watched this process happen over 30 + years of this messed up situation. My older sister who later got it together dispite terrible odds, dropped out and lived in cheap motels on Colfax with my Grandma. My biological father sexually abused me and was instituitionalized between the periods of time I was sent to live with him. The last time being when I was in 10th grade. My Mom and Stepdad and little sister went to Australia and asked me where I’d be staying while they were gone. I wasn’t welcome to come too. But this is how it has always been. Yet after all these years it still stings. They wouldn’t let me stay in the house when they went to Australia for months, because they didn’t trust me even though I was always responsible and trustworthy person. That only came in handy for them when they needed me for chores and babysitting. So I wasn’t rewarded for being an over achiever, just used. By the way, I was frequently told I was lazy, while doing hours worth of chores almost every day. The only joy in my growing up were some good times with my Mother and babysitting my little sister. Also the fun I shared with my older sister. My Mother BTW never believed I was being abused by either of my biological father. Even after nuns told her I was and made her and my stepdad pick me up from my Dad’s in another state. When I was 19 my biological father beat me and tried to strangle me to death. No one was there for me but an abusive boyfriend I had at the time. That was the last time I saw him until his death bed in 2005. Well except for once when he had these guys watching me(long story). My step dad is always mean and has no compassion. If something hurts me in life, he seems quite pleased. It’s as though he’s playing this weird game with me were the further he pushes me out of my Mom’s life the happier he is. So he does things to try to screw with my head. This malice has tainted my Mother who is with him for the comfortable life they have built together. I comfronted them with a horrible thing they did to me as a child about two years ago. They have completely disowned me since then. But even before this last disowning, they have had little to do with me since I was about 10. At the time of the comfrontation, I was physically blocked from leaving their house by my stepfather. He phsically was not allowing me to leave by holding his leg and boot in front of the door as I was trying to open it to go. It was unbelievable! I was surrounded by my Mom, little sister (just observing) and step dad. I asked him to let me leave a couple times before finally saying if he didn’t let me leave, I would have to call the police. They are now saying that I have done something horrible by saying that (the gull) and tried to make them look bad. Freak show! They’re really messed up and it is so sad for me to have to realize finally at *40 that I need to stop chasing after the love that will never be there. The sad thing is that my Mother is a dear soul although she has become even colder than she used to be and is now a lot like my stepdad. My little sister has been so pampered that she’s not understanding. Although we’ve always been close, she doesn’t return my calls or texts and seems to have contempt toward me and our older sister. I find as she grown up, she becomes less compassionate and really is a very shunning individual. Sad, because I treasure her so. But how long can one chase after someone who doesn’t seem to want their time or love? My Mother never calls, lies about things given and done for my little sister, plays weird detective moves behind my back both referring to my professional and private life (very freaky), has never seemed to really like my older sister even when she was a young child, she’s very material comfortable but really could care less what my struggles are. I certainly haven’t ever felt that I could go to them for help. My step dad kicked me out of the house for wanting to go to college. He said I should be a laboror and that trade school was the only thing he wanted me to do. I am not kidding. It sounds so backward. Everything while growing up with him was like this. BTW I was a very good youth. Always behaved, always got good grades, kept my space clean, etc, etc. In fact I was afraid not to be perfect, bc I didn’t want to be booted out like my older sister was. She and I were always blamed for the weirdest things. When our beloved pet dog got hit by a car we were told it was our fault, etc. It was continual harrassment. When they weren’t yelling at us it was at eachother bc my Mother didn’t feel my step dad thought she was beautiful enough. It was shear insanity!

That of course is only a very small part of it. The games continue even to this day. My older sister and I will never be a part of there family. I find myself driving by their house trying to get a glimpse of my dear Mother. But I am not welcome.

My advise to younger people who are reading this and find yourself in similar circumstance…

1. Find true friends. It is my only solace besides my spiritual faith.

2. Even if someone knocks you down and won’t help with your dreams… Try anyway with all your might!!! Put your energy into your future self and not into being sad. Go in your mind where you want to go and someday you will most likely be there. I have wasted so much time, but it’s not to late, even at 40. Not to say that I don’t have any achievements. However, I have cried for too many years and chased and chased after love that won’t ever be. So if you’re a chaser like I can be, try to pull your energy back and find more useful ways to use it. Anger is chasing too. Anger is chasing fear based thinking. It’ll never get you anywhere. But I think it’s healthier in general than prolonged sadness.

3. If you’ve had a stressful childhood, most likely your nervous system has taken a strong beating too. Eat healthfully and start researching on what it takes to repair your endrocrine and adrenal system (nervous system). I find drinking lots of clean water, eating fresh fruits and veggies, vits and minerals, omegas and enzymes, and if I’m too broke for supplements, I still pick healthy foods and get enough sleep.

4. Sleep repairs the soul. Do not be down on yourself if you need extra rest. I was rarely allowed naps or go to bed early as a teenager. They said I was lazy. It made me very tired because I was growning and under constant stress. So rest when ever you’re able. I find now that if I get extra sleep I feel better about everything.

5. Ask for guidance from school counselors or any adult you think might help you. It’s natural to feel intimadated because the adults around you have been so negative. But try to find any resource you can that will help you look for grant programs and funding for school. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what you want to be. Just take some core credit classes. If you know there isn’t a chance that you’ll be able to go to college, please consider aiming high in all you do anyway. Even if you work at a fast food job, start inquiring how you can become a manager. Look at work as a means to an end. If you are treated horrible at work look for another job while you stay employed. Be honest with people about your goals and you never know who might decide to help you. *But please always aim high and try not to care about the nay sayers and negativity out there.

6)Give yourself, your time and your energy to people who show you they are reciprical with their time and energy. Of course this doesn’t apply to volunteer work or dealing with people who you can’t avoid thru work or school. But in your personal life, it’s important to decide what type of people you want around you for the long run. Develope healthy friendships while you are still young and life will be a lot more fun.

7. I’m very private with my faith but it is the base of my entire life. If you have any faith, let that be your guide. For me, I feel God is me friend and only wants the very best for me. I was raised Catholic. Although it wasn’t bad, it wasn’t good. It was fear based and rather chilly. I have since blended those beliefs with a commitment to showing God my respect by believeing in his true good nature. I believe it is like kicking God in the teeth to fear him. When I’m alone and I cry out of the lonliness from my family wanting nothing to do with me… I talk with my friend God and he listens. Honor him (or her) with your friendship and love and I believe that all this pain will be our greatest teacher and possible blessing. If you belive in God please remember how much he loves us all. He wants us to ask for his help and guidance and he will come thru.

I was always the fat ugly one. They treated my son the same. We were never invited anywhere! I hate my f…ing family1! I hope they have painful deaths!!!

My dad is an alcoholic and drug addict. He’s cheated on my mom at least twice. In february, he went to jail for OVI and domestic violence charges. My parents fight five times every day. My half sister is in prison for endangering her kids.

I’m the older uncle,( 60 yrs old ) with just nieces and nephews (40-50’s) and I have been giveb walking papers. I’m–being ignored. Never felt this coming, and I feel terrible about being outsted.

I attempt to act as if I can take all this but on a daily basis, I am really upset. Willing to play whatever role required, nearer or farther away, it seems that it’s time I fall to the side of the family structure like something used. I have after spent most of my life loving these people, and now it’s tough feeling rejected.

Ya… it is extremely hard to be faced with rejection from the ones you considered to be the closest to you. The hardest part i think is getting over the pain that your family and peers caused you and then acting like it nevr happened, just to get on with life. I was always the shy one from the my young days, but i could have gotten over it like most kids growing up. little did i know my roads ahead would get rougher and much more lonley. I had a very close relation with my older brother growing up, we would go everwhere together, and play all the time, he was my best friend. Things changed he pretty much stopped talking to me and didnt want to hang out with me, and my family was too busy to talk to me they would ignore me. I didnt know why. But i tried to deal with it and branch out with my peers at school. I didnt get much better from them. I would get teased and bullied and i would feel so ashamed of my self because i thought that if my family didnt want me, and my peers didnt want me there must something wrong with me. I lived in fear ever since so afraid of rejection that i can barley open my mouth to talk to anybody….I have been alone the majority of my life. Feelings of worthless, uglyness, shame, guilt, and not good enough are a constant feeling for me. I am trying to get better but it is a up hill battle everyday. But one day i will be happy with my self.