Forbiden Love

im 18 years old and very close to my friends…my parentss went away for a weekend and I startd hanging out with one of my sisters friends…..In the end we got drunk and ended up having sex (she kinda talked me into it)…..the Problem is shes only 14………..I know the age of majority in ontario is 14 so im not worried about that..Its just weve been talking ever since and falling in love… well I know shes in love with me…The thing is she always dates older guys that take advantage of her and shes been raped….I feel so bad for her and I REALLY want to see a better life for her…she thinks im the one who will give her that life.I think im in love with her but my parents and my friends would not accept the age thing…..If they find out well end uup apart so werve been keeping it a secret….My problem is that 1. if im keeping a secret doesnt it mean im doing something wrong…and 2. even though legaly everythign is ok,, is it alright for an 18 years old guy to date a 14 year old…its not the 4 yeaars between us… its that shes so young… My minds been torn in half by this…. I dont know what to do.. Please help.

Answer #1

This 14 year old girl is very vulnerable because she has been raped, and seems to turn to older men because of problems she has had with men in the past, which is a problem. The last thing a rape victim should be doing is having a serious relationship with someone before getting the real help she needs to recover. Normally, 4 years would not be a problem for say, a 28 and a 32 year old couple. However, at 14 girls are just beginning to learn about growing up and adjusting to being a teenager, while an 18 year old is already very close to adulthood. Because of this dramatic difference, it’s not a good idea to have a relationship past friendship. She is confused because of the people who have taken advantage of her, and if you feel that you love her you should do what is best for her and give her time to adjust to the changes of being a teenager, either she hasn’t even started or she’s just started highschool, and you must be a junior or senior, or past that. It’s too much of a difference. Good luck with everything

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