Finding out who you are

Alright.. I don’t think this is in the right category, but I don’t know what else it would go under. This is going to be rather lengthy I think, juuust a warning… but if you really want to help give me some peace of mind PLEASE read it.

I know I’m young (not as young as most FunAdvice users, but..) when do most people see the light at the end of the tunnel? For me it’s all been a battle since the beginning. I have a sibling who suffers from multiple mental disabilities, and parents who are getting to the point where they won’t be able to care for him the way they are now. NONE of my other family members would take him on. I know this mainly because they are never comfortable around him, and are always talking about how brave and patient my parents are for keeping on with him. Some are even scared of him.

ANYWAYS… there’s that.. and I dunno… I had a job offer that involved me moving states, took up the offer (which was a hell of a deal I might add) and something happened on the other end that made the job unavailable. This was something I was planning on and looking forward to for months, and now it’s gone. It’s just like thing after thing keeps going wrong and I don’t know what to do. I have a boyfriend that I’ve been with for 3 and a half years now and 90% of the time we’re good.. it’s a bit of a distance thing right now. He’s coming out to visit for 2 weeks mid July… which is fantastic. I know we’re great together, and I have the opportunities now to move closer to him. But what if that’s a mistake? I’m not dumb enough to sacrifice my future for a man, but at the same time I know the distance is going to tear us apart soon.. it’s been too long and visits aren’t enough anymore.

The only thing is I’m at the point now where I need to figure out what I want to do with my life. I have a few different passions that could potentially make me successful… but it’s like I have these gifts and I don’t even know what to do with them. I’ve been involved with the fine arts since I was a young child, and have really excelled at that (I do commissions for paintings and such) I train horses and… as cheesy as it sounds, I have been told I have a way with animals that most people don’t. Obviously I can’t read their minds or anything but I just seem to connect with them. People have paid me to work with their problem animals (usually just horses and dogs) And my third passion is music… I have played the guitar for years, but now am really falling in love with bass more and more. Without music I can’t breathe

Wow.. this is getting ridiculously long. I don’t even know what I’m saying. I know people face the big question of Who they are all the time… and people just say “Oh everything will fall into place the way it was meant to be” and shrug it off..

I don’t know, maybe I’m just looking for reassurance… all I know is it literally feels like I’m losing my MIND. Like I could literally go insane. My hands shake when I think about it and I freeze up and can’t really function. Sometimes I just get in my little car and drive because it’s the only place where I find peace and can think clearly, think about all of this. There are sooo many decisions that need to be made. I can’t pursue all my passions simultaneously. I know no person can answer where MY place in society is. I don’t want to be famous, but I want to stand out somehow. I don’t want to be a MACHINE like most people in today’s society, I want to take care of all the sh*t that needs to be done, but also be human and enjoy life. I want a successful career that I can have FUN with.

When did you all figure this out? What inspired you to go the way you did?

Again sorry this was so long… I don’t know what I’m saying, I’m just freaking out a tad! Thanks…

Answer #1

what all those people mean that say everthing will fall in place is that life sux so just live it im not saying dont care just dont settle for one answer cause there will never be one.ull feel this way the rest of your life the trick is learning how to deal with it.those who dont turn to drugs and hurting others(not reccomended) so you have to find what turns it off even for just five minutes.u will never figure it out so stop trying.and you can pursue all your passions just not at the same time just pick one.if you fail try another .the point of it all is to learn from your mistakes to make each day that passes after more fufilling just listen to your heart cause it sounds like you already have an answer you just think its going to be too hard and are afraid of failing.well there is a movie quote that helped meonce.why do people learn how to pick themselves up again.the best part about being alive you can fail a thousand times because you can start over a thousand times.and get as many trrys as you can cause once its gone you cant get it backeventually just like how you found your favorite food ull find what to do that makes you happy and doesnt happen over night you have to try everything before you can pick one thing.u can try as many times as you like cause in reality you never really fail(or atleast in my mind) I think it was edison who said I tried a thousand different bulbs before I found the one that worked.I diddnt fail at any point I just founsd a thousand ways how not to make a light bulb.just enjoy the happy times and learn from the bad cause thats all any human even the smartest can do.

Answer #2

Let’s see, from your profile, you’re 21 - at that age, I was in college, clueless, and knew that I was fast about to get a degree that was the easy way out. Not because it had anything to do with what I liked (writing / computers) but because it was easy. So, I got my degree & then at 22, six months after graduation, I got my very first full time job in the computer field, doing internet marketing.

Then 2 weeks after getting the job, bam, my wife & I are expecting our first child…the plan was 8 years from then, not at that age. Now I’m 31, two kids and my wife & business partner, well, we’ve been together 11 years this month, and I am excited about spending the next 80-100 years with her (ideally longer, given advances in science, etc).

Why am I giving my bio info as an answer? Well, you have three interests it sounds like - for me, the job I do full time for work (not FunAdvice, my other company) involves writing on a computer, and giving people, essentially, really good advice on how to market their websites. So I apply this to my hobby as well (it’s how we’ve grown to 1.7 million people a month). The “career” I’ve built as well as the business with my wife, well, growing up the profession, industry and entire market didn’t exist.

So the job thing - if it’s what you’re interested in, follow that. The guy thing, well, if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. If not, you’ll find the person you’re meant to be eventually.

Five and a half years ago, we started FunAdvice, for example. Today, imagining all the little details we’ve put into the site to improve it (with a ton of work yet to be done) well, it’s the old saying, “a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step”.

There are dozens of free ways to promote your music (and if you ask here, we’ll help you with that, too) you can set up a blog (free) promote what you do, etc, etc. LIkewise, with the animal interest you have. Just remember: nothing worth doing is easy, nor will you see overnight success…but, if you stick to it, then you’ll be closer & closer over time, and eventually perhaps you’ll wake up one day & realize “you’ve made it”.

Answer #3

That was definitely the longest sentence I’ve ever read, but thank you! You made a lot of valid points in there, and some good quotes. Thanks

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