How do I find my hole?

check the fig out and map ur holes in the right way

sounds like you have the right hole the problem is that you are a virgin ( not that I am saying that is a bad thing I personally think that that is a very good thing) by that I maen that you still have a membrane covering the vagina opening called the hymen (what tears when you lose your virginity, refer to diagram below) the hymen has a smaller hole in the middle which allows the menstral blood to drain from the vagina. what is happening is the tampon is larger than the hole. as mentioned by @Emily try using smaller tampons or just stick with pads.

to address your second problem fingering and sex also as mentioned by @Emily you should not try to insert anything if your not wet. if you and your boyfriend want to experiment then that is your choice but there should be foreplay beforehand to ensure…um…proper lubrication. just make sure you both are ready and properly protected. Also (I’m sorry but as a cop I have to say this) if he is over 18 then I strongly discourage any sexual interaction this is a felony, will send him to jail if found out, and he will be on a child sex offender list for the rest of his life.