What does it mean when your ex fiance shows mixed signs?

Hey everyone today kinda made me happy and sad, and Im really confused about my ex fiance. see we broke up on the 8th this month and we were living together after 4 years of being together she moved out to her moms place. This morning I picked her up for work and she asked if she could go back and take a shower since her clothes are still there. I said ok thats fine so we went back to the apartment and before we got out we kissed and were holding hands on the way there. Then when we got inside I was surprised that she asked me to make her some breakfast and get her clothes to wear cause I used to do that for her all the time. Then I was even more surprised that she was getting undressed in front of me still and let me stay in the bathroom while she took her shower. then when she got done getting dressed and eating I took her to work. again holding hands then when she got out she said she loves me… so with both of us being friends after the breakup and shes doing this to me does it mean that shes gonna take me back in a month or 2 after shes had her space?

Answer #1

If what you mean by mixed signs is showing like she wants to come back but looks confused, I think she needs a friend to talk at the moment but she does not know to whom she has to go. Or she might make up her mind that she regrets the break up. If you do not have a new girl friend yet, maybe you can ask her what is going on, well that is if you still care.

Answer #2

I do still care I tell her I still love her every time I see her even though I shouldnt but I do and I keep telling her that Im there for her if she needs rides or food since I have food stamps, and I also told her that I would be supportive of anything she does. I also told her that I wouldnt commit or date anyone or even have sex with anyone until her and I got back together and that made her happy to hear that.. So I still dont know whats going on?

Answer #3

She really needs to make up her mind so that she is not playing with her heart. 4 years of living together is not a short time… I think it is still hard for her to lose you. You need to ask if she really wants to kiss and more before you do it.

Answer #4

she doesnt ask though when we kiss she either does it or I do it to her, and I have asked her if she wants me back but all she says that not right now its not our time yet. Our lives arent together and I still wanna have my fun… which kinda hurts…. I mean why cant she do that with me you know?…

Answer #5

I think she is probably confused. Four years is a long time to be with someone, and being engaged on top of that… breaking up under those circumstances is tough. In my opinion, you need to be straight with her. Either work things out, and maybe get engaged again, or call it quits for good. Shes probably just really lost, and she is coming back to you because its what she knows and its what feels right. But it might not be the best thing for either of you. I think you should give it another few weeks and if you still both have these feelings, consider getting back together. But one month after four years isn’t enough time to get over something. You either need to get back together or give each other some serious space.

Answer #6

I’d like to add that my boyfriend of a year (I know, it’s not a long time, but we’ve been through a lot and it’s pretty serious) and I are going through some tough times as well. He talks a lot about being together for life and getting married soon, but we are BOTH in that stage of wanting to have fun with our lives still, and I’m younger than him by a few years, although about as mature. The thing is, its hard to know if someone is truly right for you, and marriage is a huge leap of faith. She might not be ready for it yet, and pushing her is only going to alienate her. I think you should tell her, like I said, thats your either going to be together or take some real time off (not just one month).

Answer #7

right Ive heard that from some break up advice sites to, but the thing that throws me off about her the most is that when I saw her from lunch she said she wanted to make love to me this morning when she came back to the apartment to take a shower she said if we had more time she wouldve done it…. so what does that mean?

Answer #8

anyone else have more advice?

Answer #9

ok now Im really confused at the end of the day we went back to my place I made dinner for her and we end up having sex! Im so confused about her what does this mean?!

Answer #10

gotta also be careful about that if theres another women in your life and she could be getting jealous of her. She could be relizing what she lost. but then u should also be careful cause what she might want is just friendship out of ur relationship and u could be mis understanding the signs.

Answer #11

she wants to get back together with me but shes afraid of history repeating itself again she cant help but get that “once a cheater always a cheater” phrase out of her head. Her guy friend that wants to date her keeps telling her that and Im about ready to kick his ass for it. But what do you think?

Answer #12

The reason you don’t know what’s going on for her is that SHE doesn’t know what’s going on for her. At the same time that you continue being there for her as a friend, and ready for her to come back to you if she wants to, you also need to protect your own heart from being hurt and confused even more than you have been already. The best way to do that is by letting her know that until she decides she wants to be back with you again, you need to draw a clear boundary between you when it comes to sexual activity. Friendship and support are fine, but now is not the time to be making love or even kissing like lovers do. It’s not fair to you for her to be off having an independent life but keeping you on the side for when she wants sexual comfort. You want more from her than to be “friends with benefits.” She has to clarify for herself whether she really wants to be with you or not, and she wont’t do that as long as she can “have her fun” with whomever she wants but still have you there whenever she needs you.

I suggest telling her that you will wait for her for a certain length of time (6 months, or whatever feels right to you) and during that time you will not be with anyone else, to show her that you are committed now to being faithful to her if she’ll have you back. But you can’t stay on hold forever; if she doesn’t make up her mind, you will have to move on with your life. If, in the end, you lose her because you cheated on her before, at least you will have had an opportunity to learn the importance of faithfulness in your future love relationships.

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