Father or No Father?

thanx for the advice. I just build my house up and it takes him seconds to crumble it. I have been brutally honest with him, and he wavers it off. we have been seeing a counceller becos he says that I dont let him see hes daughter and we wrote a written contract that no matter what happens in our relationship, our daughter will be put first and he has to see her atleast 2 hours a week. But he has been cancelling that and when I remind him about the contract then he ignores me. But then he’ll call me a week or two later saying that he wants to see her and he has the right to becos of the contract. Its like hes playing with me emotionally and I’ve had to sit back and wonder if he is contributing anything good at all in our lives? It hurts me more that he is not wanting to grow his bond with her, than the fact that he is playing me up all the time. My daughter has come fiurst in my life the last eight months and she always will. If he wasnt her father I would have told him to get lost a long time ago.

if you have only recently given birth to your little girl she is luckily not getting as hurt as you are by the whole situation, you express yourself so eloquently here have you been able to speak as openly to your ex, if you have and he is still treating you both this way you need to think harder, put her 1st and yourself 2nd, he is obviously not putting her needs high on his list of priorities and he is just playing you so why should you consider him before your daughters or your own needs?

he can only treat you this way because you are letting him, be the strong woman you are, you can do it alone if needs be you have friends and family who can offer emotional support as and when you need it ,

give yourself time thou obviously you loved this guy and the bond has been reinforced for you by the birth of your child together, but going on what you say your feelings are not reciprocated

you are a woman in your own right, you dont need a man to make you whole and even thou you may feel vunerable and daunted at the prospect of being a lone parent its ok to feel like that and normal but you will be a wonderful mom with or without a father figure beside you

Get a court order that states when he can see her and then if he doesnt turn up its his fault. My daughters dad still does it to her and she is 13. They never change unless you make the serious moves. It will be for your daughters benifit in the end and anyone who says otherwise has never had to sit there and watch their childs heart break waiting for someone who never turns up.

thanks flygirl, that makes a lot of sense. That is the main reason why I want to put him behind us. And the only thing that has stopped me was hoping that Sierra could have a full time father. And she will, but not with him. x

I often wonder how nice it would be if my daughter could talk. She would put him in his place.. But for now I will have to do it! thanx!

honestly, my father has done the same thing… and I told him he’s in always or in never… and he chose in never… as much as it hurt, I eventually excepted it. but you should try to find someone who loves her for her and is going to be there every second for her. even if it’s not her real dad, it still feels better to atleast have someone.