ex fiance and letting go

My fiance and I Were supposed to get married on Aug 16, 2008. I had a problem with a depersonalization disorder that caused me to lose reality for several months prior to the wedding. I did some things that I had no control over.. One being that my fiance and I agreed to create a joint slush fund bank account. I moved money from her bank account and my account into that account. the funds were spent on both of us… the only problem was that I had authorization to pay her bills electrroncially but not put checks into that slush fund account. I did this for over 6 months and moved about $7200.00 from her account and $15000.oo from my account. I guess we were living well. During that time I lost my job whiich I made $83K… I didn;t tell my fiance that I had lost it. I also had a software company that went belly up during that time frame. so I was not in a good place psychologically. The worst of it was that I didn’t show up for the rehersal and dinner the night before the wedding nor had I paid for all of the wedding acttivities such as the caterer, the pholtographer (deposits had been paid) etc. My fiance and her father expected me to pay for this big church wedding.

 I had lost it the night before the wedding... the DPD disorder along with depression and a diabetic sugar high took me out of control I went into a complete different state of mind. The worst of it all the next day my fianace had me charged with theft and id theft and I was arrested for that and have been convicted for that. I accepted the criminal charges with a know concern that of the DPD problem. I am receviing counseling for it  now and it is curable. 

but, she had me convicted. she has a great amount of fear that I am going to do something to her and I do not want to do that., In fact I want us to be married, but she says she cannot and will not trust me anymore.

My question is ... if someone has a diagnosis of a mental problem that is curable did somethings that He shouldn't have done. Moving the funds and not showing up for the rehersal. Even though she knows that he still wants to be married.  Why do you think she alienated him.? she has said alll love is gone and all care is goine. He had no control over what happened. I thought marriage was for richer or poor, in sickness and in health stuff .  Am I to much of a traditionalist to belleve that I would have expected that?  
the crazy thing is she still has about $25K of my personal belongings in her houe and keeps telling me that she will give it back to me... to date she hasn't. 

what do you all think?