dump him..or not?

so I am a really sweet girl who has been dating this guy for a year now, and I really need some help, I love him but do I deserve what he is doing? im confused I feel lost, I feel all kinds of things like its my fault. Im making my life harder just by thinking about him, but I love him I couldnt be without him, so I try hard to make him happy but he is just in a weird mood all the time, and hateful. I have tried talking to him, cried, and wrote him a note… everything I can possible do. now I just need someone with experience to help me out.

Answer #1

You need to elaborate more on what he’s doing.

Answer #2

If he is treating you like crap, leave. You say you love him, but he clearly isn’t returning it, so now you’re wasting your time. Sorry to say that, but now it’s time to let go. it is nice that you do what you do for him, but he clearly doesn’t appreciate it. yelling over simply spilling something is unneccesary, and a sign of future ABUSE. get out of that relationship it is no good for you.

Answer #3

the worst things I cant stand is the way he is so hateful sometimes, is this normal? I havent ever dated someone thigs long… and he has anger issues. I just want him to want me like he use to, because he never was like that when I met him. He yells at me all the time over silly stuff like spilling a glass of water for an example. He says im just like my mom and im opposite ( he doesnt really like her because she is just like him) Between him and my mom they both drive me crazy and im trying to do better and make sure I am not the mean person. I show him I care I clean, I make tea all the time for him, I cook, I help pick up his house for his mom a lot because she is a hard worker. I mean I know guys would kill to have a nice girl that helps me out and is there for him when he needs her. I think I try to hard to please him, All I want is a little respect… or show me he loves me every now and then… and I want us to be stronger as a couple.

Answer #4

Rule number 1 in life… you CANNOT change another person… you can only change yourself. Talking, crying, writing notes is not going to change him. That does not mean people dont change… Just that YOU cannot change him… What you can do is change yourself… First, you need to raise your self esteem. You do not deserve to be treated badly. Now you have to believe this. When you start to believe this, you will start acting differently. You will not tolerate bad behavior. When he is being hateful, you tell him that you feel like he is being _ (insert word), and you do not feel it is acceptable. The way you interact with him will change him. Or it wont. And then you need to figure out whether you can tolerate things being the way they are, or whether it is better to leave, be in pain for a little bit, and have a possible future with someone who will treat you with respect…

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