Don't know what to think any more.

I have been in a relationship for about six months and it has seemed that this guy is really into me. He is no child either but in his early forties like me. Things have been very romantic although limited because I live in country where you have to be married to spend time together. We have been able to work round that though and also have a holiday together. We have managed a few spearations too and kept in touch with Internet etc. I am very faithful about this and go to endless lengths and expense to keep in touch with him when I am out in Europe and he is trapped in the Middle East. He is always very needy during those times because it is not easy to be the one left here and so I make sure I communicate a lot. However, he has recently been in Paris where he comes from and he has family members and friends there. He doesn’t bother to make anywhere near the same effort to keep in touch with me there even though it isn’t very nice for me to be stuck here either. I have tried to let it go, but this time I just felt I was going to crack up because it happened the last time he was there. He went to the States on business for a few days before this and he was constantly arranging to communicate on Skype because he didn’t know anyone there I guess. He completely loses interest the moment he gets back to Paris. I phoned him today and told him I was upset that he doesn’t communicate when he’s there. He was even round some woman’s house asleep when I phoned. He couldn’t understand how this could put ideas in my head that he was playing around. He was very angry with me and complained I was making him feel trapped. It seems to me the boot doesn’t fit the other foot. I have changed a lot of things to be with him. I don’t get much spare time and the little I get I spend with him which means I don’t do anything else like see my friends. He is flying back to this country tomorrow. He said he wouldn’t be coming here if he didn’t love me but I am afraid I have created a bad feeling now by complaining about the way he treats me compared with how he expects me to treat him. I still feel I have a point though and that makes me feel cold towards him. I am no longer sure what to think. I don’t know if I need to set my sights higher than this. He refuses to marry too even though this would protect me from jail if we got caught together here and would permit us to spend much more time together. The other thing is that he might just drop me like a hot brick because I have confronted with him an issue and made some sort of demand on him. Can anyone else out there see the situation more clearly?

Answer #1

Thankyou txcherry and happy birthday! I felt better for writing down what I feel. I guess I have decided to take step back and concentrate on my work, my life and my studies. If the guy loves me, and wants to be part of my life and for me to be part of his then certain things are required, like communication and thinking of me. Until something comes from him then I am not going to make any more moves.

Answer #2

well when he comes back you should talk to him about it tell him how you feel an if he just gets mad then he doesnt love you as much as he says he does an if he atleast trys to understand that you have every rite to think those things then ask him if there is a good reason that he doesnt want to marry you so that you dont have to worry about going to jail I hope this helped an good luck

Answer #3

ok an I wanna wish you the best of luck

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