Do you judge a person by their past?

Well, do you? Think about it. Just pretend that you found out your SO used to be a skinhead. Or maybe a drug dealer. Would you honestly think different about them? Or maybe your best friend had an abortion? Or maybe see was using a guy for money? Should a person’s past really matter? Would it change the way you think about them?

Answer #1

It would depend on how far their “past” was…If it was day before yesterday, nope…it it was last year…2 years…10 or 20…of course! Nobody in the world is “past-less”…we all got somethin’.

p

Answer #2

It would depend on the situation for me. Sorry I can’t really give a good answer.

Answer #3

1 I dk what a skin head is lol…

2 if my bestfriend had an abortion I would literally kick her A$$! and not talk to her for a few months and if I get over it then ill still hang out with her. ill still love her but if she did that, I wouldnt be able to be around her.. seriouslyy. and umm yeah I do jugde a lot of people bassed on their passed.

Answer #4

Depends on what they did… Some things can change, some things cannot… I dont believe a true racist can… or a sociopath (rape, murder etc…).

Answer #5

It should definitely matter. Past is past, you cant really change what happend, but it really should matter. As irene said, would you date a rapist? Or a killer?? Or a freaky maniac???

Answer #6

If they learned from their mistakes and they are a different person today, then their past should not matter. Really no one should judge anyone cause no one goes through life without making mistakes.

Answer #7

Yes it should matter.

Would you date a rapist?

Answer #8

Depends - obviously there are some who have never let it go but like to bring it up and present it as a badge of honor, flaunting it - I guess it’s ego, makes them feel big in front of young people - giving no thought to the negative influence they might be having on these impressionable lives - losing them forever - you can find this out in the world and on here…sad.

Answer #9

well it depends if they have a good past then no and if there still good today. if they have a bad past but show no sign of those bad things now than no. if they have a bad passed and a bad present than yes

Answer #10

It depends on what they did. For me I would never forgive a rapist- a known rapist that admits it- never.

I would forgive a drug dealer/drug addict ect for actually being addicted and taking drugs but if they did really bad things then I could not forgive them for there actions.

A friend having an abortion? That wouldn’t matter at all. To me having an abortion at a young age is definitely the mature thing to do so I wouldn’t mind.

Some things can not be forgiven- murder, extreme violence, paedaphiles- these people say they have changed but to me to do something like that in the first place they had something up with them, even if they have changed.

Answer #11

I would judge the person to a degree. If that person he/ she has done something wrong then judgement is a punishment for that. However, I also believe that people change. I used to drink, be arrogant, sleep around (I never did this during a relationship though), be irresponsible and do all other kinds of garbage. I have changed now and luckily for me, everybody has noticed. However, I still understand that some people do still think about my past and they have every right to. I think it is right to judge, but within limitation because of course people can change. That’s what makes us such a versatile (or adaptable) species :).

Answer #12

Also - depending what they did.

If it was something like; murder..

then NOOO!

but drugs - selling, doing, watever - yes

Answer #13

I don’t make a person on its past, I’d rather judge by what it has learned from it.

Answer #14

I think that I might always, even subconsciously, be waiting for the “other shoe to fall”.

Answer #15

It depends - If they have changed && the past is the PAST!

then yes.

But; If theres anything that they’ve kept from the past - then NO WAY!

Answer #16

Yes. Believe it or not, we all wear masks, all of the time. Some wear much bigger masks to hide a scarred or horribly deformed personality. Serial rapists, especially, such as child molesters.

And most drug dealers actually aren’t stupid enough to be doing themselves.

Answer #17

No. Actually I wouldn’t see them different. What’s past is the past aslong as they’ve changed into a better person I guess lol.

Answer #18

Well, I changed dramatically during the past 2 years, so no, I wouldn’t like it if somone judged me through my past, but yet, if I were in there shoes, I would be careful, until the person infront of me proves that they changed, & if it was my best friend then I already know enough about ehr present & seen enough of her actions to overlook anything I find out about her/his past, although I would still talk to him/her abour it =]

Answer #19

We all have ghost, but I am with Prannie, It depends on how far the past is and how many trip ups they have had, Kind of like the boy who cried wolf, People like that I look down on after about 3 cries, as far as the past, you really have to have years on your side to be able to way “wow look what I did and how far I come , I think that has to be more then 5 + years.

Answer #20

it matters to a point. my past was pretty bad, but I was only a child who didn’t know what I was doing. I’ve really messed up my past and which is part of the reason I matured so quickly. I’ve learned from my mistakes and hope that this doesn’t happen to many others. I miss my past, I have good times and bad, but I wish the bad wasn’t all that bad cause it is.

Answer #21

I’ll answer my own question also:

I would not judge a person by their past as long as it did not involve them forcing someone into something violent or sexual (such as murder, rape, etc).

I feel that I can not judge, because I have made huge mistakes in my life, and I want people not to judge me from them. I’m a recovering drug addict, I was homeless, I’m a rape victim, I’ve sold drugs, I’ve stolen and robbed places, and the list goes on. I am a different person now - and the past is my past. I can’t change it - I can just hope that people accept it and move on and look at who I am as a person now.

Answer #22

depends on how much of their past made it to their future?

Answer #23

It depends what it was -

My boyfriend used to be a drug dealer and an alcoholic (he’s 24) but he’s completely 100% cleaned up his life and he’s on such a good path now. When he told me I was really shocked, I found out the first few times that we talked about stuff he was wasted, that kind of hurt me. I moved on from it though, I look on the bright side that he’s really come together. My boyfriend is also a criminal, he stabbed someone that almost died (when he was 16) and a couple of years ago he walked into someone’s house drunk which he got charged for, and he also went to jail for driving wasted. He’s slept with a lot of girls and cheated on someone too.

His past is something neither of us are proud of, but he’s such a different person now it amazes me. I try to stay positive about it always and do everything I can to protect myself.

Reading all this a lot of people would wonder why I’m with this guy, this stuff all happened years ago. He’s a total different person, if he was into that stuff now I wouldn’t be with him and he knows that. I’m the reason he stopped drinking, he goes to A.A, his probation officer, everything. He amazes me and I look beyond that past. :)

Yes it should matter. Would you date a rapist?

That’s really extreme, I don’t think anyone would date a rapist.

Answer #24

If my friend had an abortion, took/sold drugs, cheated on someone, etc before I knew them, that has nothing to do with me now they have changed.

If they had an abortion when I knew them - I’m pro choice so I do believe in doing what you think is right with your own body; nothing to do with me.

If they hurt me in any way while they were on drugs, I can understand…It’s an addiction and I have my own so I know how difficult it is to break through it. The fact they have got the determination to break it shows to me that they have changed and have got stronger so I would definitely be able to forgive them.

And a rapist…well…that’s different. Personally I wouldn’t be able to get it off my mind if a close friend/family member or whatever raped someone. So I wouldn’t be able to forgive them.

But thats me.

More Like This
Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Disability Judges

Legal Services, Government Agencies, Social Services

Advisor

Morgan Legal Group PC

Legal Services, Asset Protection, Personalized Service

Advisor

Morgan Legal Group PC

Legal Services, Law Firm, Personalized Service

Advisor

Grand Forks Herald

Local News, Missing persons, Obituaries

Advisor

Nathan Rohlander

Personal Branding, Marketing, Entrepreneurship