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Difficulties treating my 12 year old nephew, a leukemia patient?

I’m typing this question here in the hospital next to my twelve year old nephew who was diagnosed with leukemia when he was around two or four years old… He is currently undergoing chemotherapy, and later maybe bone marrow transplant.

the problem is that he rejects almost everything being offered to him, specially from his closest family members like his mother, aunt, uncle, cousin, brother and sister, etc.

His mother is, in my opinion, gives him too much “freedom” in making choices; e.g. he eats lots of candy/junk food, now he rarely gets off his bed to take a walk or even go to the bathroom (which is just a few footsteps away), now he almost does everything while he’s still in bed, soon we will have to move his arms and neck just to feed him..

I keep telling his mother ( my sister ) that she should be more strict and that he is still not old enough to make all the decisions by himself, but she never takes me seriously. He hardly does what the doctors and nurses tell him to do; like taking medicine/drinking lots of liquids/taking little walks outside/sleeping early, etc. He even gets to choose when to take injections and other important things.

Sometimes I wonder that the reason she’s not so strict on him is because of the leukemia. But I don’t think that’s the reason why.. she treats his brother and sister almost the same way, too “loose”.

If I were his father ( who rarely comes to visit him), I could take matters in my own hands and tell him to better take care of him self, unfortunately I’m not.. so it’s like torture seeing him in this condition every day.

Now I’m kind of confused and not sure how to treat him. I gave up talking to him and his mother.. I hope you can help me, and thanks in advance.

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Answer #1

I am not sure if this is the right forums to post this in, but I would maybe tell a professional that the mother isn’t suited to actually be a mother, same way with the father.

If they can’t (more or less will) raise their children then they do NOT deserve a family, I am 18 years old, but I can tell you that a child does need discipline ever now and then. The mother seems to just not even care about her children, if you care so much you should take charge and see if you can get custody of those kids and raise them to be good people and NOT lazy slobs who won’t go to the restroom to use it and instead sit in bed, he should have absolutely NO say in when he gets his shots, his mother should. Sorry, but I don’t think your sister deserves the right to have the title of “Mom”, nor the father who won’t even visit his own dieing son.

I hope you find what’s right - Good luck.

  • Gothik
Answer #2

no worries hun anytime, thats what we are hear for. In your question i picked up nothing about you asking this question for selfish reasons, your concern was only for your nephew and his mother so dont be so hard on yourself ok. Im glad you feel better tho.

Answer #3

if you cant get trhu to him or his mother then he needs a professional to speak to, and so does his mother. Someone with qualificaltions to expalin the risks of not taking care of her son and teaching him, and for him to realise he needs to take care of himself to prolong his life as much as he can. talk to someone who can offer their help to them both.

Answer #4

First let me say how sorry i am to hear that. Look somebody needs to put first with the mother tell her life is way to short to let her kids take over without any rules now don’t get me wrong I do feel where shes coming from but at the same time she is loosing control of her kids lives they are to young to make decisions like that on their own, Then next would be the child you sit him up and get some clothes out and get him dress and i dont care if he likes it or not you take him outside and show him what his missing by sitting in bed all day let him you love him enough to give him some room but still be in control.

Answer #5

im sorry but im 13 and also have leukemia! Yoou need to be nicer because just think soon you could lose him dont you want him to have the best time while he is still in this world soo just try to understand i was the same when i was 12 but now i understand that you need to be nice because you could loose him so just be a little nicer oh the parents are probably being like this because they never know if he wont be there the next day my prayers and love to you!

Love Leslie

Answer #6

Thanks a lot to gothik and locoluna for your quick response.. before your answers, I was really doubting and even blaming myself for trying to help my nephew, now I feel a little relieved that there are other people who think similar to the way I do.

Now it might look like I’m saying all of this just to feel a little better about myself. I can only hope that I’m not. I tried to be as honest and accurate as I can when I asked the question… lying or “faking” anything is out of the question anyway considering how bad my nephew’s situation is right now..

So I guess the best thing for me to do right now is look for professional help. Ill try to find a family counselor as fast as I can, and Ill try to keep you updated. Thanks again for your help, it’s much appreciated.

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