Did I do the right thing

Ok…here we go. I’m 26 and a mother and daughter. From the childs point of view, I can tell you this. My parents divorced when I was 10. After that, my grades suffered, my self-worth suffered, and I became extremely rebellious. My mom was over-protective, and raised my sis and I on this strict routine. My dad, was absent. He used to call and tell us he was going to come by and pick us up on a certain day and time, and then wouldn’t bother calling or showing up. When I confronted him on it, he actually told me that his world didn’t revolve around us, and that he had his own life to live. He told me this when I was about 12 or so. However, when I was 15, I couldn’t take living in the harsh conditions at my mom’s anymore, so I moved in with my dad instead. (He straightened out considerably after marrying my step-mom.) I thought I’d be happier there, but instead, I went from being under constant surveilence, to being left alone all the time. I didn’t know how to handle myself when that happened, and I kind of went crazy. At my mom’s, we ate dinner everynight as a family at the dinner table. At my dad’s, we ate whatever, whenever. It was a very drastic change of lifestyle, and I didn’t cope with it well. It changed me. I started acting out.
As a parent, you are doing what you think is right by playing the tough love card, but what your son needs is a relationship with you. My dad never had time for me, and to this day, I still resent him for it. Its not so much anger, but sadness. I have never felt like I make him proud, and when we do see each other, we fight. He’s always lecturing me. Everytime I had an interest in something, he never thought I could accomplish it. He tore me down to the point where I don’t believe in myself anymore. Be your son’s shoulder. Its not going to be easy. Its going to drive you crazy. He’s got a lot of learning and growing up to do. You will have to be patient with him, and you can’t have angry outbursts. You have to be there for him no matter what he needs. Granted, if he goes to jail, bail him out the first time, but make sure he knows that if he goes back, he’ll have to sit there. Go fishing with him, watch movies with him, go out to lunch with him, or whatever yall both like to do. Show interest in his interests, and introduce him to yours. Its time that you took the time to bond with him. Men have this problem dealing with relationships and heart to hearts, but it has to be done. If you let him down, then he will let you down. You just have to really put yourself out there for him. Be accessable, and make sure he knows you mean it. Good luck to you and your son both.