Did I make the right decision to break up with my boyfriend?

Ive have not seen him for 4 months now , he lives out of state we talk every day. We had plans to see one another on May 6th ..@2 weeks befor that time He goes out of state for a funeral,the funeral is all done in one week. But desides to stay longer than the two weeks and lets me know at the last minute hes not comeing because 4 days befor his flight he decides to get a body tattoo which is some kind of family trditional belief….I felt like he pushed me to the side and made me feel like I wasnt that important to him. I told him that I could do it any more that it was too much waiteing and that I didnt want to pull him away from doing the important things that are important to him….Now Im going back and forth wondering if that was thr right thing to do Im sick my chest feels tight Im a mess what do you think?

Answer #1

I think its better this way for now. If he lives far away from you it will be hard to mentain your relationship. You will start to wonder if he is cheating on you with other girls. It can develope into an unhealthy obssesion and can ultimately drive you mad.

Answer #2

Yes that does make sense. thank you fot your advice..

Answer #3

Thank you for your advice…it does make sense

Answer #4

your welcome

Answer #5

I personally don’t agree. I can understand that you miss him and all, but it isn’t like he ditched you for no reason at all? He was away for a funeral, and then got the tattoo because it’s a family traditional belief.. If he was blowing you off for no reason at all then I’d understand it, but someone died and he was showing some respect? That’s hardly him purposely pushing you aside, or not making you a priority. Even if it was, that’s something you should be understanding about. Unexpected things happen, like death, and this is a time where you should have been supportive.

I hate to seem rude or like I’m lecturing you, but it just seems like a very harsh reaction. I’m sure if he was putting most of his attention to his family or family friends down where he was that he wasn’t meaning to hurt you, but to rather share grief with people he cared about. It’s a very normal thing to do, and I’m sure if you were there, he would have talked to you too..

Answer #6

I couldnt agree more…infact I think it was being a little insensitive which is why you really feel the tension in your chest! I understand that you spent the time waiting for him, also may have made special plans that didnt follow through, but you also forgot that he didnt go off to some summer vacation with the fellas…he went to pay his respect to a beloved loved one. He then got a tattoo to pay respects to his family tradition once again showing you that he is a very committed person…As I see it, he was not deliberately pushing you aside as you mentioned, but just keeping up with his duties as a family member…I think you were a bit haste & judgmental when it came to his feelings in all of this perhaps safe to say even a bit self centered…If I were you I would realize that I had a wonderful guy whom is very caring and one you can count on to be there when you need him. I would call him back & try to explain what & how you were feeling. Perhaps he can look the other way & understand that you were very emotional because you really missed him. Keep the lines of communication open. I hope things work out for you dear. Good luck.

Answer #7

Here’s my advice…. I’m not one for long distance relationships, not saying they are bad…. just I couldn’t do it knowing my significant other isn’t around. However, the reason why you broke up with him isn’t because of distance it is because he had to get a tattoo…… don’t really understand what belief that is but he had a reason in getting it. What would a tattoo like that look like?… anyways… With that being said, I think you did it out of impulse and were too wrapped up on emotions. I understand that he missed a special time in which you were supposed to see him,which is why you were so angry, however, I don’t think he planned on someone dying.

Answer #8

i for one knows that long distance relationships are hard and even if its goin good one thing can make it crash. so i think that u did the right thing. and if u still have feelins for hi try to b his friend until you can c him more…..

Answer #9

I think you were upset and acted harshly. And speaking as someone that once acted to harshly you need to talk to him if the problem really is distance then ending it is good. If you were just upset and regret it do something about it NOW. I know a lot of people don’t agree but i’ve been there i broke up with a guy one time simple because he had to go help his friend and then went straight home after instead of coming back to me like he was suppose to. I was young and i felt used we didn’t get to spend a lot of time together and when we did all we wanted was to get into bed and then he left so ya i felt rejected. But you know what i wasn’t it was just something that happened and i was emotional. We never got back together i still see him every once in a while and you know what he still has a crazy effect on me even after 16 yrs. I can be in a room and he can walk in a i know with out even turning that he’s there i can feel it in my soul. I know it sound funny to anybody who has not met there soul mate but I’ll never know what might have been. and i’m not saying i’m not happy with my life i’ve been married for 10 yrs and i have 2 kids but I’ll never be as happy as i was. ANYWAY i point is you need to talk to him if the distance is too much then have a amicable break up don’t act to quickly and leave it too long. Life goes on and you must learn to live but will you be happy without him in your life? That’s the real question…… hope i’ve been of some help

Answer #10

i think you were too harsh

Answer #11

yes i believe that your reaction is to fast,and i agreed with mel also and also the things is it not like he cheating on u or what ever her doing it for family tradition :3 i think if it hurt u that bad get back with him :3

Answer #12

you might have done the right thing or maybe not, but i really do thing you concluded things too soon, you should have given him more time, study him more.

Answer #13

He had a reason to stay longer I mean there was a funeral and he was probably still pretty broken up about it. don’t think that he didn’t want to see you i am sure he did. he just had a lot on his mind. i’m sure that he still loves you and that you are on his mind all of the time. don;t think that he doesnt care about you because he cancelled plans for something imprtant. just talk to him and see if you can make plans soon like within the next month.

Answer #14

I think you were too selfish (no offense) and too harsh.So no.

Answer #15

He had a reason but so did u . U did not just wake up and decided that u were hurting for a while that just set u off but it was just bad timing not a bad or wrong decision

Answer #16

You have got no real reasons to dump your boyfriend dear. If you two were really serious about each other you should be giving space to each other. You should have been responsible to know the reality and circumstances he is into before taking a decision. Its never too late to correct your mistakes, if only you feel likewise. Get back to him and sort it out.

Answer #17

I wouldn’t have dumped him for that.

  1. He didn’t ditch you, do you know when people are going to die 100%?
  2. He may have stayed longer because he was conforted or comforting family and friends for their loss.
  3. He probably got a tatoo to signify that the person who died ment something to him, or maybe the whole family.
  4. I wouldn’t dump him just because you haven’t seen him either, are you in that big of a rush because if you love someone you’ll wait for them!!
  5. Next time someone in your family or close friends dies think of what you did to him. That person in his life passes away, so he’s probably in a depressed state of mind. Then some selfish girl dumps him because he went to a funeral because they died prooving she never cared….
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