How do you deal with a parent who doesn't have the mental capacity of a 15 year old?

Well for one she has been found incompotent. She has the inability to learn. She acts like a 15 yr old, u know bn defiant an stuff like that. And yes been solely responsible for her for the past 16 yrs

Since you’ve been “dealing with” her for so long (and have probably learned a lot about how to do it), what’s going on now that leads you to ask for advice about it?

Well a few yrs ago, like 2 and a half or so, I meet my now husband, she doesn’t like him and is tryin to turn my kids against him, things have just gotten worse the past couple yrs, I just want to throw her out of my house. It seems like I have 3 kids and not 2. U know how it is with kids and the games they play. Well I’m just tired of it. I have told her to mind her own buisiness and stuff like that. I think she is jealous of my husband and i’s relationship, considering her and I never really got along in the first place

How old are your 2 children? How do they respond to your mom’s attempts to turn them against your husband? How is their relationship with him? With her? How does you husband feel about her? (Lots of relationships to untangle here!)

They r 11 and 8. They used to respond to her attempts then they stopped after I had a long talk with them. Both my children love him, and they always say grandmas crazy, as time goes on it seems like they like my mother less and less cuz they see wat she is doin is wrong and the stuff she tells them is a lie. My husband doesn’t care much for her since she keeps up the bs

Sounds like there’s not much danger of her succeeding in poisoning the relationship between your husband and your kids. You said “I just want to throw her out of my house. It seems like I have 3 kids and not 2.” I’m going to guess that things sometimes can get pretty tough with your children, but that even if you might fantasize now and then about how much easier things would be without them, you never actually think about getting rid of them for real. The fact that they are just kids enables you to forgive them for not yet being grown up, mature, and responsible, because you know they can’t help it. Maybe you need to think about your mom that way, too. Her mental incapacity was not her choice, and is probably even harder on her than it is on you.

I don’t by any means want to throw my children out, I think I’m just tired of takein care of my mother. I think because I have never had a real life of my own that I may resent takein care of her. My brother stays 2 blocks away and won’t even help, its very tiresome and aggrivatein. I have spent half my life takein care of her. I don’t find myself to b a selfish person, but some help wud b nice, u know wat I mean

Yikes, noooo, I didn’t ever think you want to throw your kids out! Just making an analogy, lol. But never mind. What’s up with your brother? Why isn’t he helping?

Because he doesn’t want to, he is ver selfish and all for himself. And his mental capacity is only of like an 18 yr old. He never finished school, has never had a job, and doesn’t care if I suffer or not. He is the favorite child, gets everything handed to him and thinks he is to do nothing. Him and I don’t get along one bit. I even went to the extent of tellin him if he doesn’t help me now, he will not see me or my kids once my mom passes away, and still no results

What would happen if you packed up your mom’s suitcase for the weekend and dropped her off at his place?

He brings her back and says don’t do that sh!t again. And go figure cuz he’s her fav child