Why does my dad have all this anger to put his hands on me?

My dad always had an anger issue with my brother & I, even with my mother sometimes. He is very aggressive and abusive with us, but mostly with me. I admit I've not always been the best daughter, I've had troubles growing up and doing good in school but I think my dad had screwed me up the way he raised me & handled things. It started when I was growing up, when he started losing his mind, like if my brother or me did anything to piss him off, he would completely lose it and beat the f*ck out of us. He has that tendency of hitting us with a closed fist, like he doesn't care at all, and will punish us how he thinks he should. I started doing bad my 7th grade year, and I remember I had my first boyfriend, and my mom had found out that I had kissed him, so she told my dad and he beat the sh*t out of me that day, and humilated me infront of my neightbors, he had punched me where I fell to the ground, and start cussing at me calling me names, & banging my floor against the floor, and up against the wall, and he would pull my hair. For just having a boyfriend? I had to just go through all that trouble, which I just didn't understand. I started running away because of all the arguments I went through with him, and the tension, I got too scared. I remember one time he found me at a friends house, and picked me up, on the way home out of nowhere he lost his temper & just dragged me out of the car to the floor, and just started going at it, throwing punches at me, dragging me up & downt he floor, I think he even banged my head a couple times, my mom had to tell him to calm down. And it just never stopped, we always fought so much, I just always had fear around him, everytime in the car, I'd always want to jump out especially when he yelled at me, his voice was just so loud, I'd rather just him hit me any second cause the suspense of it would just kill me. I always just kept running away, I never got to be part of school activities, I started getting introuble in school because I'd take the anger from home on the people I would see at school. If I got introuble at school, I'd be scared to go home, and just cry my eyes out in the office I remember telling my teachers my dad is going to beat the living sh*t out of me, to give me afterschool detention so I could stay longer. I was just in so much fear of my dad all the time, there was times I got to admit where I can him not wanting to hit me but he never could escape his anger and his abusive habits. I remember I started smoking weed & drinking, maybe some other stuff, I started doing bad just because I didn't believe in myself anymore, I started feeling just very suicidal, and I remember my dad laughing at me making jokes calling me "coo coo" cause I had yelled at him from the top of my lungs when I had overdosed on pills, he was never there and never understanded me. When I started my 8th grade year to High school, I started getting into it with my mom a lot and if it went bad with her, or if she would tell him that I said "this or that" , he would go and just beat the living sh*t out of me if I ever disrespected her. As I got older, the more worse it got between my dad & I. He started beating the f*ck out of me much harder than ever, I remember I went to Knotts with a friend of mine, and I couldn't understand or I didn't know why he was all in my face, so I had pushed him cause we get into so much that I don't let him get too close to me, Im frightended by him so after I pushed him, he lost his temper and grabbed me by the hair, and just started punching me while I was on the ground, and he even choked me. It was the worst day ever and I remember some people just looked at the situation shocked, there was some girls who laughed at me, or that one woman who stood up for me, but at the end of that day, nothing went done about it. He one time found out about some guy I was with had a problem with weed cause he looke through my phone, but I wasn't smoking weed, I had everything all together with me and I just didn't like how he was all in my business looking through my messages, and he went crazy when I told him that, and pushed me off the computer chair and started punching me in the face, and started calling me the worst names, and I just ran out of the house crying. And there was just too many other situations like that where I get punched in the face by him or tackled down on the floor not being able to fight back, he's 6'1 and 260 pounds, a very big man and he's overweight too. I could never fight back or even cover myself from a punch. Recently he broke my ankle because of a very bad argument where I pointed out how a bad father he is to me, and how I don't appreciate him, where I don't care if he rest in peace tomorrow, where he has some serious issues, and how I hate him so much, I just lost it this time and just couldn't stand him anymor where he couldn't take the truth/ or the things I was saying and just attacked me to the ground like he never did before where my legs where in the bad postions, and I can remember every punch & the pain of him beating the sh*t out of me while I was in the floor, it was the worst beatdown my dads ever gave me, as soon I got up, I couldn't walk , I had to hop all the way to my room, he broken two bones of mine on the ankle area, I have to be on crutches for 6-8 weeks with surgery. I just don't understand my dad, he's dead to me, I just wish I could understand why he is the way he is, and why does he have some much anger to put his hands on me or my brother, he never said sorry for anything that he's done or even said Happy Birthday to me which is today, I'm 16 years old and I feel unappreciated in this house, I might of never been the perfect daughter but I've tried hard this year to accomplish things that I did, and I even got student of the month at my school and passed my exit exams. I just don't get how my father can be so cruel and have all these issues, he's put his hands on me everytime and that's maybe why I never got it together, maybe I had so much anger build inside of me where I never believed in myself to do better in life and to be where I am now.

3 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 3

If this is an accurate description of your home life, you need to report it to child protective services, you are being abused and need to be removed from that environment. and your father needs help. What you are describing is child abuse. Report it!


ANSWER #2 of 3

Dr Bill is right, this is child abuse.
Makes me wonder if he treats you this bad, how bad do your mom and Brother get it? Why did the teachers not do anything? Why did they just let it happen?That makes me so angry.

Being 16, you cannot keep running away and be expected to not be taken back there, for you are still under age and your mom and him are still resposible for you.

My heart aches for you. Please tell someone. If you are not able to tell Child's Services (for any reason), please tell someone you trust that may be able to help you. Like DrBill said, you will most likely be removed from your home (along with your brother) and the family will have to go to counselling.

This is no laughing matter. Please tell someone.

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ANSWER #3 of 3

Honestly this is digusting and he should never treat you like this!
Maybe he had a troubled life, and as you have dont at school, taken it out on others.

Maybe because he does not see you as a threat, he feels he can take advantage of this and make you feel small just to make himself feel better,
He seems alike a nasty man and you should report this and get away from it.
I know your scared of what he'd do if he found out you report it but just do it.

You have to get away,
Your a beauiful girl and you deserve better ]: x

Sweaty Hands ?

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