Can you tell me why I am stuck here?

Your questions so far have had to do with how to stop feeling horny and how to stop watching porn. Your problems are not that you get horny, watch porn, and masturbate, all of which are perfectly natural for anyone. Your problem is that you seem to have some pretty severe hang-ups about sex, to the point that you’re trying to lie about the reasons you’re watching porn in the first place.

There are a lot of ways to appreciate the beauty of the female body – renaissance art, Victorian poetry, playing Chun Li in Street Fighter – without watching porn. In fact, as far as appreciating the subtle grace of femininity, porn is a medium on par with beer commercials and calendars featuring motorcycles. You’re not watching porn to marvel at the curves and lines that nature has granted women. You’re watching porn because it stimulates you sexually and makes masturbation more intense. Nothing wrong with that, but let’s at least be honest with one another moving forward.

You’re ‘’stuck here,’’ as you say, because somewhere along the way, you picked up the idea that self-pleasure was dirty, shameful, or sinful, possibly all of the above. These are pretty archaic notions about sexuality, and while I’m sure they work for someone somewhere, in the modern age, we tend not to think that orgasms cause any lasting damage to one’s spirit or psyche. They cause stained sheets and a desire to nap, and that’s about it.

If you became addicted to pornography or masturbation, sure, there might be cause for concern, but it doesn’t sound like that is the case with you. And keep in mind that there is a HUGE difference between ‘’addicted’’ and ‘’like it a whole lot.’’ To become addicted to something means you are completely unable to function in life without the presence of a certain thing. To watch porn and masturbate all the time is called being a teenager. You would be more unusual if you weren’t doing that.

Your ideas about sex and self-pleasure are going to take a lot of work to shift back into a more centered, healthy place, but it’s going to be worth the effort. Start reading Dan Savage’s column Savage Love, for a start. He’s paved the way for sexual freedom for a lot of people by showing them that indulging in sexual pleasure is perfectly natural and in fact, EVERYthing under the sun is normal, perversion a myth. If nothing else, he reassures us all that no matter how skewed our image of our own sexuality, there’s millions of people worse off than we.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=3997661