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Can I go far as a poet/songrwriter?

Do you like my work? Do you think I can make it as a songwriter/poet? Please let me know. We are family…

TO THE ONE LOVE OF MY LIFE

For your support so relentless And your patience endless For your undeserved appreciation And the ceaseless attention

Only one thing can explain Why you took away my pain Why you walked me in the rain And not a pinch expecting to gain

In you I see it- God’s love Peace of mind, my white dove Possibly, I cannot ever say it Your kindness nothing can beat

Thanks for making my life Looking after me like my wife Now promise you’ll be here That you’ll ever be near

Not much can I do in return But the desire in my heart burns To tell you I appreciate you That I’m grateful too

If I no longer have my breath And you have to buy me a wreath I’ll be smiling across the river Thinking of my best friend ever.

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Answer #1

I am a Poet/Songwriter and all I have to give and all I have to say about this is that your rythm is horrible. Unless you drag out the words this couldnt be read aloud. Count the syllables in your head. Count 1-2-3-4 to the rhythm you want. This song is 123 123 123 123 123 when it should sound more like 1..2..3..4. Most poems are like this as well.

Answer #2

Dear Elinthial, Your comments are very encouraging. You must be a descendant of Oscar Wilde.

Answer #3

i’m sorry but this peom wasn’t very good, not every word has to rhyime, i’m not saying don’t keep trying but just work on it for a min.

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