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Burnin' Ring Of Fire

Ever feel like a pickle stuck in the bottom of the pickle jar? I do.<br /><br />

Here’s the deal. Back in college I fell in love with this amazingly beautiful girl (both inside and out). We had a tumultuous, passionate college romance for 2 yrs. It ended without really ending and left the both of us without closure. She graduated before I did and never stopped looking for her.<br /><br />

Getting crammed into the pickle jar…<br /> For 3 yrs I have been involved with my current girlfriend. She’s great, fun, wonderful and my best friend. However, I have recently reconnected with my college sweetheart.<br /><br />

By chance we happened to be in travelling to the same place and make arrangements to meet for drinks. Her eyes lit up and she ran to me when she saw me. I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest. We sat down and wasted no time in getting to the point, that we were both in need of closure. We talked about our past, our present and our futures. About our current and intermediate relationships. About the fact that I had been looking for her for so long and she answered that with the fact that her mother’s phone number never changed. Obviously, this left the next question to be: was she, too, thinking about me all these years? She told me yes, and that she was often too nervous to reply to our email correspondences because she was too afraid of what she might reveal and risk her current relationship.<br /><br />

To make things more complicated, she is now engaged but said that seeing me was very hard because it brought back intense feelings she thought she was over. She also told me not to marry my current girlfriend.<br /><br />

I’m more torn up now than I’ve ever been. I dearly love my current girlfriend but my heart shakes, aches and longs for my college sweetheart. Upon giving her a hug goodbye, after our recent meeting, I felt that connection again that we felt so long ago. I don’t want to hurt anyone but I think I might explode if I don’t do something about it, especially if there is a chance she might feel the same way.<br /><br />

I don’t want to live my life with the “what ifs”, especially when it comes to her.<br /><br />

Any advice here would be great! Thanks.

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Answer #1

Well, if you feel that strongly about somebody else, and you’re in a relationship, it’s a sure sign that you need to sort out what you want in a life partner.

I met my wife in college, and it’s been an incredible six years of marriage & almost nine years since we started dating.

While not everybody gets married to their college sweetheart, if you are feeling this way, and you have a girlfriend: you really should think long & hard about who you’d rather spend your life with. Try taking a trip for a day / even a half day, by yourself.

Ask yourself - who would you rather see waking up next to you, ten years from now? Twenty? If you lost one of them today, which would you rather keep?

Good luck, I know it may seem hard now, but by spending a few hours even, by yourself, to contemplate the situation should help your heart reveal who you’d rather spend your life with. Best of luck.

~thedude.

Answer #2

Thanks, I think I will do that. There is a lot at stake. I have an established life with my girlfriend and my CS (College Sweetheart) has one with her new fiance. I’m not sure, she may have been caught up in the moment, but when I asked her why she said yes (she told me she was drunk at the time, too) she gave me sort of empty answers and there was a couple buts thrown in there. I’m freakin’ out majorly about the whole thing. I’ll take a sometime to myself and ask myself those questions. Hopefully I can talk to my CS again and hear where she’s at with all of it. Thanks again, man.

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