What can I do to help a bullied kid in my son's school?

My son is 10 and he is in 5th grade, that means he left primary school in summer and is now in a new school since 2 months.

He told me that there is a boy in his school who has no friends. This boy is being harassed and provoked my several other kids regularly. My son says that they are a group of at least 10. They say bad words, insults and the like. The bullied kid reacts agressively to this. He does not know how to defend himself with words and he beats the other children. After that, the boy will often get trouble with the teachers. The other kids often provoke him in order to get him into trouble. According to my son, the bullied boy often loses his temper and he isn’t very nice nor very companionable in general. But still, he doesn’t deserve this. I think that being bullied will definitely not help improving his behavior. On the contrary, it will probably make him even less companionable.

My son does not want to stand up for the bullied kid in class, because he is afraid of being bullied himself. I know that my son would stand up for a friend. But he will probably not befriend the bullied kid. My son is a calm and sensitive boy and all of his friends are also calm children. The bullied kid is a loud and quite agressive one. Yet my son is bothered very much by the unfairness.

I already wrote an e-mail to a teacher, explainig the situation. Can I do anything else? Should I contact the parents of the bullied kid? Should I talk to other parents? Can my son do anything without getting himself in trouble? He does not want to be “the telltale”. What would you do?

Answer #1

I suggest talking to the teachers face to face, or try contacting his parents. Bullying is disgusting and is not acceptable under any circumstances.

Answer #2

You can also call the school and talk to the principal about it. Chances are, they won’t share any information with you, but if you express your concerns, the principal may take the situation into his own hands and contact the child’s parents, himself. . Unfortunately, it’s tough being on the outside, because you’re very limited, but you’ve made the first move, so hopefully the school will deal with the problem.

Answer #3

Yes, you are right. I was bullied in school. And I refuse to accept that in my kids class. Thank you.

Answer #4

Any kind of support system the boy has would be helpfull including friends like your son and you. Maybe you can “counsel” him allitle and see what his take is on everything. You may be able to help him with changing his reactions or something that may be inciting these other kids. just a thought. I’d get his side of the story so you can better understand this situation and then maybe come up with a plan of action. Kids can be so cruel and it’s very sad.

Answer #5

Is there an association or group in your country and area that you could contact to explain the situation and see if you could get the school principle or administrative heads to agree to come out and speak to the students and classrooms about bullying? Many of these groups charge nothing but are strictly volunteer in educating kids on the problems of bullying. This way it could be handled on a broader scale without pointing fingers at anyone.

Answer #6

Sorry I didn’t word that right. I meant the organization might have someone that has a volunteer speaker willing to come out to the school if the principle or head of school could see the benefits of addressing the issue.

Answer #7

Public schools are terrified of upset parents. Go in there and insist that they find out (in a subtle manner of course) who these children are and contact the bullies’ parents. Then move that up to a demand. Hopefully this isnt the kind of school that waits until they end up on the local news before they “regret this problem and apologize”.

My school had a similar problem when I was little and I remember that most of us didn’t realize what we were doing was bullying, we didn’t know why but we were taught by our peers to hate that kid. Schools are not specific enough. They say “no bullying. “ but we needed someone to explain what they meant in detail, because then it becomes uncool to bully and that is when it stopped.

When I told my mom about the problems that kid was facing she went to the school and didn’t take their “kids will be kids” excuse for an answer. She volunteered a day in which she spoke to the classrooms in detail about bullying and how harmful it is and she flat out told the kids that “ I have heard what has been going on, kids that IS bullying.” she didn’t name names but we knew enough. The culprits quickly became uncool if they taunted. She spoke directly to us, and didnt talk as if it wasnt happening in the school.

If anything else, atleast the teachers will be more aware now when the kid becomes violent that there are other culprits.

Answer #8

by “contact the bullies parents” I mean the school does, they probably won’t give you any info, I realize that sounded like you need to do that, just pressure them to do it themselves.

Answer #9

I was too when I moved to a new area. There was no awareness about these things like there is now and nobody cared so i just had to fight and fight I mean throwing punches and just all out physical fighting until the situation turnrd around. It’s not the kind of respect I wanted, but what do you do? I hope this works out for the kid. Most of the bully’s arent really bad kids rather just going along with the crowd at the expense of someone else.

Answer #10

I would talk to the teachers and talk my son into talking to the kid that is being bullied.

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