breaking through someones hurt....

I have been seeing this guy about once a week in a group for about 7 months. A group of us will go out drinking and we always end up together. However, I hadn’t slept with him until recently. He is was married to his high school sweetie (with her for 11 years total), and divorced about 8 years ago due to her cheating on him. He then went into a 5 year relationship that ended about a year ago. she cheated on him to. He had a 3 1/2 year old boy who he just found out over the summer isn’t even his. It was an ugly breakup. Now, he feels like he can’t trust anyone……..not even himself to make good choices because he has made bad ones. I can tell that he cares for me, but is going through a lot. I feel him get closer, then pull away. Then, last week, (as we are not exclusive), but I would like to be, but I am being patient with him, I see another girl he is dating and it hurt me. I am not mad at him, I have no right to be, but I care for him. He never calls me or comes by inbetween our visits. help.. ….any advice in dealing with this situation would be appreciated. I can give more info on the things we have told each other etc. if you want.

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Answer #1

Lord, I can’t imagine going through the kind of crap this poor guys been through. Like you pointed out, he’s probably got some MAJOR trust issues now. That’s probably the reason he’s dating multiple people instead of settling on just one. He’s afraid to get close to anyone person, afraid of putting all his eggs in one basket so to speak. Only advice I can give is be there for him and continue to be patient. It’s going to take a lot of time and effort for him to trust anyone again.

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