What to do with my boyfriend/ friend?

This Monday my boyfriend n’ I had a deep conversation…. Long story short, we ended up just bein friends. I don’t mind that cuz I respect his decision.. But we agreed that we’ll still hang out but as friends. Ever since monday, we hang out everyday n it feels like we never broke up. I want to be with him N he knows that. It feels like we’re still together but not 100%. What should I do?

Answer #1

I personally don’t like to keep any sort of contact what so ever with my exs (no talking, no texting, no email, no nothing). All that does in the long term is cause a lot of drama and unnecessary negative emotions which I frankly don’t have any time for.

I can almost guarantee that if you break up and immediately after try to be ‘just friends’ - initially, it’d feel just fine but as time progresses it’ll transcend into a severe wound.

This happens because all the memories, emotional connections and anchors and behavior patterns involving that person are of a ‘lover/mate’ not a ‘friend’. Your mind will try it’s best to sustain the old stuff, blocking you from reframing the relationship into a ‘friendship’ - and when you try to force it, you encounter more negative emotions.

I would advice that if you really want to be friends in the long run, then absolutely cut away. Keep no contact until you move on. When you move on, then you can return back to the person without having to face any negative emotions or drama, because by then, all you felt for the person a while ago would have faded away for the most part.

–Andrew

Answer #2

one of two decisions. you guys stop talking and stop seeing each other OR you guys get back together. the problem is people that get back together after something like that turn into an on/off relationship.

EXs can be friends, but its really hard. what are you going to do when he starts seeing someone new? … my point exactly.

Answer #3

being best of friends from a relation is personally speaking not a good decision, as it has have a lot of negative effects in the future….i think U r very well aware that u want him back from just being best friends…was it his decision to shift from a relation to best friends? if yes then u gotta a lotta work to do if you don’t want the future to hurt you..show him that u really care for him and just being friends is gonna hurt both of you 1 day…u either end it now and deal with the present sorrow or be friends and deal with it then (not a good idea) as you wont be able to withstand him with another lady, eventually that will lead to you not being close to him , or get back being a great couple and stay happy (best decision for a couple that really loves each other)…

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