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boy in love with friend but i like him

so the guy i like is/was in love with my friend zenobia..way before i met them. three years before, actually. i know that he only likes her because shes never liked him. EVER. and she won’t. they are bestfriends and nothing more. so hes been talking to me for awhile and he was realllllly showing deep signs of interest and talking to me so sweetly and everything. then i get this message from him saying

“ok, yeah well true true, this basicly tys into what i was goin to say but ok il tellyou. i just dont want anyone (you) getting hurt by me because of something thats going with my ProblemS! like i dont want to like lead anyone on or be an ass to them or make them feel bad. ok, and it seems like obviously you like me, I CAN TELL! but i just dont want to hurt you beacause, basicly to make this shorter I cant make up my mind, cause there is all these things racing through my head!(bad, good & emotional). I just dont want you to get attached to me and im all screwed up in the head and hurt your feelings!

my moms kicking me OFF right now, so bye bye & GOODNIGHT! “

and i replied and what not. but i don’t really know what to do. i’m thinking it would be a good idea to hang out with him WITHOUT zenobia so he can see what it feels like to be with someone else. and he can just be with me, not having to worry about her. but he said that one month he will like a girl and the next he will just stop liking her because he’ll start liking zenobia again.

please help, what do you think? thank you.

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Answer #1

I’m no expert but it appears to me he made his position clear (how he feels at this time in his life)….notice how many times he said “I just don’t want”.(4)…he’s obviously confused right now….don’t know if its ‘every time I see Zenobia, she throws me for a loop’ or what it is (only he knows)….looks like he needs time….definately a plus however that he is very concerned for your feelings….maybe just give him space and let him know you’re going to do that and will be available if he needs to talk to someone

Good Luck and God Bless !!

Answer #2

I think you need to give him some space. He was very good about being clear and saying that he really doesn’t want you getting attached to him. He doesn’t feel comfortable about the idea of possibly hurting you because he knows he has liked Zenobia for such a long time and obviously has strong feelings for her. I would say try to let it go for a while, don’t try to pursue him or do anything in the hopes that he’ll choose you. It was probably very hard for him to write that to you, but he knew it was the right thing to do and he’s a good guy for trying to let you know that he’s too confused and doesn’t want you to get involved. Still be friends, but try to leave any other feelings outside of it. Good luck

Answer #3

I agree, you need to give him space, the more pressure you put on him to tell you how he feels the more confused he gets, how can you expect him to tell you how he feels when he doesnt even no? and if he does like you one week and you go out, how can you be happy? you wont becos you’ll constantly be worrying if he is thinking about your friend, he is doing the right thing by telling you to give him space becos he nos there may be a good chance he could hurt you. So respect his choices and give him space to work himself out.

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