How much does it annoy you when people use a condescending tone to their advice?

I see it here quite often. Usually when a young girl ask in a naive or sad or anxious tone, an adult woman here will start their response with “Well, My dear” and will also use “Listen darling” OMG that infuriates me when people do that and place themselves above the the person who is asking the question.

Answer #1

Yes, I know, but, listen dear - sometimes people need to be spoken to that way so they’ll get it…isn’t that right? Ok, jokes aside…I don’t think people always really know that they’re being condescending - It’s hard to convey your message in text, and sometimes the tone doesn’t match the words at all. Those who do it purposefully, though , yes, it irks the hell out of me.

Answer #2

I just hate the fact of people feeling sorry, and that is what that kind of tone makes me feel like. But some do need that tone just to feel better, also depending on the question. But what really bothers me is when someone my own age or younger than me does that >:0

Answer #3

It depends. I enjoy being sarcastic when people deserve it. But usually I don’t see ‘dear’ or ‘darling’ as condescending, I see it as just how people (alright older women) trying to empathetic and ‘motherly’. I guess it depends on how the rest of it is worded. When it’s worded as if the person is 5, then it’s a little annoying, but I guess it just isnt how I interpret those words.

Answer #4

It annoys the hell out of me, but i can’t complain because i’d be a hyprocrite since i will talk that way to people, especially online when they ask stupid questions. I think i come off as condecending too sometimes though just because i’ve gotten into the habit of calling people doll.

Answer #5

I don’t mind you calling me doll, it seems polite to me. :/

Answer #6

I dont think anyone is trying to be condescending to anyone! We are all here to help by offering “a d v i c e” to those that need it. When people use terms like “well, my dear” its because they are actually being considerate, thoughtful, nice & trying to be more sympathetic by giving them the feeling that we understand, we have been there done that & here is a chance to learn from our mistakes or what worked for us so take the advice from someone that has already been there before or choose not to its entirely up to the person who posts.

If someone, that person or anyone else feels offended by someone being sympathetic to them, and perhaps read into it more then it means, then it’s really their problem! We can only do the best we can to help in any way we know how.

Some people are nicer then others & some are more sympathetic to a certain situation then others does that mean they are a b!tch for answering so bluntly? No, it just means they put the advice out there, no emotions, take it or leave it!

I know I use those words a lot when trying to help, I cant speak for others only for myself but I am trying to be sympathetic not act like I am high & mighty on some power trip or something. (not saying anyone said I was, but I do use those terms & I am not trying to be condescending or anything of the sort! Just trying to be caring & more sympathetic by simply being me!) I am sure we all are!

I personally love it when people say “well, my dear…look sweetie, please understand hun,” it shows me that that person actually cares and understands the meaning of showing some sort of affection rather then simply giving me some stuck up answer. Just my 2 cents! You dont hv to agree with me, just saying from my point of view.

Answer #7

I think when you are younger and not old like me, lol, then it is looked at in a different and more appreciative manner. Is just a pet peeve of mine….darlings!

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