19 (to be 20) and never dated

I’m a 19 year old male virgin. Not only that, but a never-been-kissed, never-been-on-a-date virgin. It’s not that I’m a horrible freak no one wants to be around, or even that no one has ever expressed interest, but I’ve honestly just never seeked this stuff out. At some point I got it through my head that high school dating wasn’t worth it, and decided not to bother until later. Now I wonder if I made the right choice, especcially given that I’m now in my last year at a small, alternative school that runs for five years (instead of the usual four). Hell, I’ll be turning 20 around the time I finally start college, and in the meantime, I don’t get around much as I don’t have much access to transportation, nor are there many real oppurtunities left at my school.

To be frank, it’s going to be a little mortifying being that rare 20 year old dude in the dorms who’s never so much as kissed another person, assuming it comes to that. The question is, how do I work around this? Do I be upfront to any potential girlfriend about my total lack of experience at dating (and not to mention everything else)? Do I keep quiet about it until I reach the point with someone that they’ll simply have to know? Will my inexperience at that point even be a real problem outside of awkward, late-night “when did you lose your virginity” discussions with the guys?

Answer #1

i can’t really give you any advice that would be worthwhile seeing as i’m in the same situation turning 20 in 2 weeks (especially since this post has been up too long) but whatever… you are not the only person on the boat

Answer #2

I’d say don’t worry. I’m in a similar situation (never dated and never kissed) and I’m 22. I have about 6 months left of college and nobody’s asked me about sex. Maybe they just look at me and make an assumption. Anyway, just be concerned about your own life, not how others perceive it.

Answer #3

Hello fellow virgin. I am a nineteen year old, never been kissed, never dated, female. ITs not as bad as it sounds. The stigma may be you think you are not a man because you havent spent so much time on meaningless relationships. If you have lived through it for this long then it wont kill you. Just wait. A palm reader told me that i would find love (fortune tellers are hokey, dont believe them most of the time) because everyone does. If Madame Hoochiscami told me this, then I will tell it to you. Dude it will happen. Freak or no freak, everyone finds love.

Answer #4

Hey man, I know how you feel… I am a passionate 19 year old art student and girls and guys say Im attractive. I’ve found that looks do not matter much. If you enjoy every second and minute of your life, you will have no problem dating. Like you said, dating is up to your attitude of taking action if you want it. And what women do look for in guys has little to do with appearance but how CONFIDENT you come off as.

I haven’t been dating women thinking that they were going to approach me and I don’t have to work for it. The reality of it is, some girls will approach you first whether its going to verbal or non-verbal. But the fact is it was up to you to take the chances they gave you. Unfortunately, like most men, you never noticed the indicators of interests from them or was too afraid to talk to them because you were unsure.

I suggest you to really approach as many girls as possible and never be a doormat to women. Rather, try to come off as cocky and funny but not as a jerk.

AND the real reason why you are still a virgin is that unconsciously, you gave in to the idea that having sex is bad whether from your parents or at school as they both exaggerate on sexuality. But now is the time to take action, trust me it is so much easier to date girls in college IF you are the one to first talk to women.

Answer #5

ok if your not gay its a good thing to not be a virgin because the definition of virgin is to be penetrated by a male

Answer #6

To “1111”: You said it! SOME girls will think that. Those types of girls aren’t even worth giving a second thought about.

I’m a 19 year old girl who’s never had a boyfriend; not because I’m completely ugly and repelling, but because I have some standards. I don’t immediately go out with any guy who’s interested. When I find the right guy, I’d PREFER him to be at the same level as me. Though I wouldn’t hold it against him if he was a bit more experienced.

So, latetothegame, don’t worry about it. Would you rather not be picky and have a series of cheap flings, or wait for someone to come along who’s worth your time and effort? I know what I’d pick :)

Answer #7

Hi! (I’m a girl) I will be 19 in two days and to be honest….i have never been kissed, never had a taste of alcohol or never gone out on a date…so obviously I’m a virgin. I am a pre-professional ballerina, and the reason for never having a boyfriend is most likely because I am a ballet dancer and it takes up SO much of my time. Sometimes I feel like such a loser, but most of the time I realize that there are so few pure people like us…so it kind of means that we have something really special about us! Don’t worry about it, seriously. The right girl will come along one day, and you will find the love of your life!

Answer #8

honestly dont worry about it ok girls like guys that havent made it their number one priority to have sex with the first girl they see im sure that some girl is gonna happy to find out you waited and then that’ll make em feel special knowing your not infected with std’s and to know that you dont want to date em just to get in their bed or knock em up and leave em behind

Answer #9

hey man dont worry bout it, must girls wont mind and the guy might give you a hard time about it at first but that will all blow over. just start looking around for anyone who you may want to date and even if you cant find you at the school your at now once you get to college there will be literily hounreds of girls to pick from.

Answer #10

Listen, it is totally ok! Good for you! Girls don’t want a guy who has really been around the block, and despite popular belief, what I hear is there really aren’t a whole lot of “when did you loose yours” conversations at college. Best of luck and don’t worry! xoxo

PS- My room mate thinks you sound great…haha

Answer #11

you’re not the only 19 yr old virgin. I assure you there are plenty of others out there.

And I dont think a woman will mind. If she’s experienced maybe she’ll be intrigued to teach you! And who knows maybe she’s on the same level as you!

Answer #12

haha… Don’t worry about. it.. Most girls perfer guys who haven’t been everywhere.. if you know what I mean.. I wouldn’t mind a virgin.. In fact I’d love that… Tehehe

Answer #13

Give up. If you’ve never dated,that’s probably because there’s something about you that repels them. If you didn’t make it until now,you definitely won’t later either.

Also,ignore what some girls here are saying. While some may think that a inexperienced guy is interesting,some girls see a guy who never kissed at your age as a worthless loser.

Answer #14

College is not just about sex, and being a virgin be who you are, and don’t necessarily care what everyone thinks. Being a virgin is cool , not being a virgin is cool as well just be yourself.And lifes not about finding love but if you do its great , I have and I like that person, but I found that person when I wasn’t looking , and you will to , if its what you want.But REMEMBER THIS DON”T BE PRESSURED TO DO THINGS WITH THAT PERSON, BECAUSE YOU FEEL OTHER people ARE DOING THOSE THINGS, OR BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE THAT PERSON EXPECTS YOU TO DO IT , THINK ON IMPULSE NOT ON WHAT YOU THINK YOUR SUPPOSE TO DO. AND YOU’LL BE FINE!

Answer #15

LOL dont feel abnormal. I’m 20, female, never had a boyfriend (so obviously I’m a virgin lol). I think it’s good for people to just focus on other things until they are really ready for love, or sex. I believe it will feel much better if we are ready for it. And dont worry, if a girl loves you, she will enjoy the moments with you. And yea, I dont think girls like the guy that had so many ex-partners. I mean, you’re all hers!! ;)

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