What should I do?

Sorry this might be lengthy. I’ve been with this terrific and beautiful woman for 3yrs and engaged for 2 of them. If had our ups and downs like every other couple, but when I lost my job and we lost our apartment things changed. We use to enjoy being young and physical. Well at least she said she did also. Things were going great then. And with us living apart it’s just fading. I do love her greatly. But to me being physical in a relationship is a huge part. I’ve tried to talk to her about how I feel but I always feel like I’m an A-hole for feeling like I do. She just keeps saying she “don’t know”. She got pregnant so I thought things would get better, but it just seems to be disappearing faster. I try my hardest to be there for her but neither one of us are comfortable being around each others family and I’m always working. So time together is very slim. Then she finally told me she wants space and time to think. It’s been almost two months, which every time the period between is longer btw. I’ve stopped asking and stopped trying to do the first move thinking she just wants me to show her that’s not all I want from her. She won’t even look at my face anymore even when I tell her I love her. I even got a stupid therapy thing and am trying that but it’s not changing or aiding us. She says she wants me with her all the time but it hurts when I’m just thinking she just wants company not a relationship. I’ve even got to the point where I’m afraid to say anything in fear of an argument about anything. I’ve literally have given up on myself from trying so hard and nothing working. Ik it’s better to hear both sides but can someone help me please?

Answer #1

I think you hit the nail on the head, she just may want company not a relationship. If I were you I would have a long talk with her about what she wants out of the relationship. She already knows what you think about it. So just in a nice way ask about the relationship so you know what you need to do, stringing someone along, like she seems to be doing isn’t healthy, but like you said we don’t know both sides of the story.

Answer #2

hmm…i feel you man. Dont worry, what you are doing is partially right as to not running into an argument, which would obviously make matters worse especially with the pregnancy mode “ON”. I feel this is just a momentary thing. And about the physical relation. one thing you should always keep in mind “Think and speak to a woman” weather you know her for 2 months or 20 years. Spilling out emotions to a woman on the note of gaining sympathy or attention can really backfire. Our words may make them feel less important, and they will think of things that we would have never even dreamt about. In a relation woman can get what they want from their man, but man cannot especially when the woman knows the man is head over heals over her. Men are straight, no bulshit. Dont let the note of her wanting a companion bother you that much because, ur child is in her stomach. Jus give her what she wants, give her the romantic dinner, make her feel special…don t even talk about “you know what”. Keep that off the radar for a while. go old school man. Make her feel the love…if your love is true, which i think “DEFFO IS”, it just a matter of time till she come backs to your arms.

Keep us posted

Answer #3

hi jac..i know how you are feeling..Congratz on your son..dont give up on your girl if you truly love her..U are no longer just a couple..u guys are responsible parents..would you want your son to see some other man as the guy to your girl or you as the father that will be in his life 24/7…i dont belive in custodian rights and s*&t like that because that s&^t is messed up..when ever you get demotivated just think about your son and hold on man..she will have to nudge at some point..that will be your victory.

Answer #4

Well she finally told me, intercourse hurts. So now I really don’t know what to do. I really love her more then anyone except my kids but this is tearing me apart. Please help!!!

More Like This
Advisor

Love & Relationships

Dating, Marriage, Breakups