Is he just not in love with me anymore?

I am 27 years old, have been with my guy for 12 years. We were planning to get married maybe next year, there are no kids involved. There were some hard times in the beginning because we were both young and still hadn’t matured yet. He helped me with a lot of problems and loved me and took care of me, now we have matured and have a great relationship and I’m taking care of myself. I thought he was as happy as I was… He recently told me he’s confused as to how he loves me. He’s not sure if he wants me to be his best friend or what we’ve been up to now. We are breaking up while he figures out his feelings for me and the way he wants his life to go. But he also wants me to stick around as roommate if I can handle it. I am having a hard time dealing with this, because I want to be with him more then anything in the world. I’m terrified he won’t come back. Could he be in love with someone else? or is he just not in love with me anymore? Any advice would help, I feel like I’m drowing in all my thoughts. I also feel like it’s my fault for pestering him about smoking cigg. and going over board when he’s drinking and wanting to get married and wanting kids and our own place. I think I pushed him too much, he says it’s not that stuff. There’s a lot of things I think I could stop doing and it may help but he doesn’t see any other way but to break up for now while he gets through his emotions and figures out what he wants. HELP!

Answer #1

12 years is a LONG TIME and when you guys first got together you were only about 18.. he went from straight from being immature high school guy to ‘together with a woman I might spend the rest of my life with.’ he probably never really got to experience that ‘college immature party drunken dude’ stage in his life. he’s might be confused now because all of a sudden he is being pressured into getting married and creating a family, and he’s not quite ready. he still feels like he needs to experience those crazy frat boy idiot parties before he settles down. he just wants to live a little, that’s all. show him a good time or something, be spontaneous. prove to him that you still got it, and that he doesn’t need those crazy party nights, and that he can get the same excitement right from you.

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