What is the best way to not dissapoint people with your sexual orientation?

I think that I figured out I am bisexual. I have never told anyone just because I will get judged. The only time I did tell someone was to a friend and she is no longer my friends because of that. I think that is why I have learned to just shut up about it. But know I can’t, I need to get it out, I just have to tell people who I am, because now it’s bothering me, it’s bothering me to a point to where is hurting me. I know my perents wont accept me, I grew up being tought that gay, lesbian, and bisexuals were wrong people and that they are not normal, that they are wierd and what not. I also grew up being an example for my family, doing good in school and following what dad sais no matter what, I learned not to dissapoint anybody. Now I have learned to make myself happy too but I can’t do it with reaveling my sexual orrientation, because I can alredy see it, friends walking away, people looking at me woerd, and my perents asking themselfs where they went wrong, me getting talks about this and just too much. How can I get this out without hurting or just bothering people. Any help, advice,whatver will be helpful. Thanks.

Answer #1

I hear ya I never told any of my friends execpt one b/c she is also but other than that I told no one but if you really need to tell someone then of course you are going to get stares and looks and friends will be lost but I guess they were not your real friends but your real friends will sceecpt you as you are not b/c you are bisexual.

Answer #2

okay am bi sexual to an i told one friend that i thought we wer close but she stopped talking to me because she thought i was trying to get with her… how ever i havent told my family because i was also taught it was wrong i have a gay step brother that my dad wont even talk to if your friends dont accept you then they wer never friends and i think mostly every parent will act like that especially if you wer brought up that way start off small by changing your thing on face book myspace and on here to bi sexual and just accept yourslef is what matters first

Answer #3


Answer #4

i agree =)

Answer #5

There is nothing wrong with that at all, people should accept you for who you are. I have many bi/lesbian/gay guy and girl friends and i see them no different and never would i stop talking to them because of that. A true friend will be there by your side no matter what and those who decide to walk away would of done so sooner or later for one reason or another so don’t worry about that, those who are your true friends will ALWAYS be. Now for your family i understand how you feel. Most of my family always judge people on the spot but i have recently found out i have many bi/lesbian/gay family members as well and there family is still there by there side, they might be upset and confused at first but they will realize it’s who YOU are and that it can’t be changed. Don’t be afraid to tell people who you really are because that’s how you will know who actually cares and loves you regardless. And as for talks don’t worry about that either people will always have something to say about you but never let it get to you because i guarantee you they ain’t perfect themselves but just know who your are and what you stand for and don’t let anyone get in the way of that.

Answer #6

You cant. This has been a tough one for me too. Trying to figure out how to do both. And you can’t. You cannot control how others react. You cannot transform them into the people you wish them to be. Any more than they can transform you into who they want you to be (see where I’m going with this?). As much as you wish they were accepting, you can’t do anything about it. As painful as it is to live in a world where people will not always accept you, it is the world you live in. And you need to deal with that. Or you are going to be miserable. ‘I learned not to disappoint anyone’. I think you need to relearn this. Because you cannot control people’s disappointment. I mean one person could be disappointed because you’re too short, and another because you’re too tall. What exactly are you going to do about your height? And how are you going to please everyone? You can’t spend your life trying to avoid disappointing others. That isnt in your control. It’s up to them whether they choose to be disappointed or not. That’s in their control. What is in your control is to behave in ways that you feel good about yourself. You are not hurting people. They are choosing to be hurt. You cannot do anything about that. You need to know that there are people in this world who are accepting. There are people who will not look at you weird. There are people who will love you for you. I dont know where you live, and if that may be a factor in why you’re having a particularly hard time. But know that when you get older, you can choose who you surround yourself with, and these people will love and care for you. You’re never going to completely get away from the ignorant and the bigots, but they exist every where. They’re not the important ones. I dont know if your family will ever get over it. I know this lesbian and it took her mother 10 years to deal. I know people whose parents never dealt (and I mean this is 30 or so years later). You can’t tell what will happen. What you gotta do is take it one step at a time. Coming out is hard because unless you just look stereotypically gay, it’s a never ending process. You decide whether it is important to tell people in certain situations and who you want to tell. And before you tell them, you have to accept that you cannot control their reactions. And you have to accept their reactions for whatever they are. If you can’t do that, then maybe coming out is not the smartest idea. For now. I think you need to get some support in this area. Talk to some people who’ve been where you are. Figure out how they’ve survived and dealt. And there’s a lot of different kids with different stories. Some have had it easy. And so they’ll go ‘your parents will get over it if they really love you’, and some will have had it harder, and so they will understand that this is complicated and they may be able to help you negotiate it a little bit.

Answer #7

The best response was the one on top. Very well said. People are going to judge you, no matter what the situation. This site is a good one to visit FCKH8 . com they also have a facebook page. There are TONS of gay/bi people on there that I am sure would be more than willing to talk to you about things. Good Luck! I hope you make yourself happy before others. Also if they are religious, (which I am assuming, if they think being gay is wrong they are) and they start quoting the bible and the whole “man shall not lie with man or woman shall not lie with woman” thing. Ask them to start following all of the bible in it’s entirety. Religious people tend to pick and choose the parts they wish to follow and the parts they don’t. There is actually a thing in there that prohibits wearing clothing made of more than one material, Leviticus 19:19 “My statutes shall ye observe. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with another sort; thou shalt not sow thy field with seed of two sorts; and a garment woven of two materials shall not come upon thee.” which is a crime punishable by death…crazy huh? A good site to reference and read is www .swade. net/glbt/bible. html I hate when people quote the all too common man shall not lie with man, yet they follow nothing else from the old testament. Hypocrites.

Answer #8

of course take out the spaces in the link since I couldn’t post it normal. =)

Answer #9

Tha’s my main fear, my family, I don’t want them to feel that way, Is not that I don’t want them to feel that way, is something else I just don’t know how to put it in wording, I Just don’t want to being away from my perents just because of who I am. Idk If you get me :/ I did not explain myself right.

Answer #10

Even though you don’t want them to have that disappointment and you dont want to not have your family, you still need to be YOU. No exceptions. It may be best to get a job, wait a few years until you have saved enough to move out on your own, and tell them then. You will be ready to be away from them and they will have the time away from you to deal with it how they need to. Regardless of how they act or feel about it, you need to be your “true” self in order to ever be happy.

Answer #11

Yeah I get it. I haven’t told my family. I dont know what the right answer is. It would be nice to just be me and do whatever I want and believe that if they loved me they should accept me, and if they dont accept me it is their loss. But it isnt that simple. I get that. Here’s the thing, if you’re not ready to tell them yet, then you dont have to. Get some support first. Work from there…

Answer #12

Some people are just rude and mean and igronarnt. If people get mad becasue you are trans, gay, lesbian, bisexual, cross dresser or whatever they just need to get over it. How is your sexual orientation affecting them…it’s not so just be who you are and don’t be ashamed

Answer #13

Thank you for that advice.. Great idea

Answer #14

the advice on this thread is awesome.. could i have some advice on my question?

Answer #15

its nobody elses business except yours and your partners

Answer #16

lol what is it??!

Answer #17

be able to look at all the ppl who are dissapointed and say, “you know what,? i cant help the way i am, and u cant except me u cant except my love”

More Like This


Sex education, Intimacy, Relationship advice

Ask an advisor one-on-one!

Muñecas Sexuales

Juguetes para adultos, Sex shop, Tienda de productos eróticos


युवा आयुर्वेदिक

आयुर्वेदिक चिकित्सा, सेक्स क्लिनिक, सेक्सोलॉजिस्ट डॉक्टर्स


Shape Angels

Beauty Enhancement, Sexual Wellness, Body Treatment



Sexual Wellness Products, Adult Toys, Vibrators



Sex Clinic, Ayurvedic Clinic, Medical Clinic