Funadvice Logo
Explore Join
More Art, Writing & Literature Questions

Who thinks this is a good poem for my girlfriend?

I was a body stolling the land

With nothing to hold, not even a hand

Then you came, and brightened my day

Your hand in mine, forever shall stay.

Rose your souly, my one and only

To the end of my days, forever and always.

   - by marcus rubio febuary, 24, 2012

I made this :d please dont copy d:

Become an Expert →
Answer #1

If this isn’t a joke, and you’re older than thirteen, you should probably think seriously about incorporating a bit more passion/thought in your art. Unless you’re completely disinterested in writing and really only want to get into her pants. But seriously, have some respect for yourself, and the person you’re writing for. If you really want to write, do it properly. I had a moment of hysterical panic with the 5th line as well, until I realised that you’re not actually making up a word, you’re just rubbish at punctuation and spelling. ‘Rose, you’re solely/My one and only.’ But…seriously? ‘stolling the land?’ Even if this is just a cutesy little joke, take five minutes to shuck up your spelling, yes?

Answer #2

It is very sweet and I’m sure she will appreciate that you thought enough about her to create a love poem in her honor.

However, I’m a little confused on the 5th line. What thought are you trying to convey?

Also, in the first line did you mean strolling?

Answer #3

this is such a great poem .. :) I would LOVE it

Answer #4

awww its great she will love it:)

Answer #5

Damnn this is so sweet:] Thats a great poem for your girlfriend!:]

More Like This
Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

The Really Good Book Shop

Fiction, Mystery, Thriller

Advisor

Diamond Nail Supplies

Nail Supplies, Beauty Essentials, Salon Equipment

Advisor

KitabDeal.com

Books, Education, Personal Development

Advisor

Shopnobilap

Literature, Online Publishing, Community

Advisor

Silverhints

Poetry, Shayari, Ghazal