What you think about my two new poems?

my days are long and boring my nights are alone and cold my heart beats slow my mind wonders my eyes are filled wit tears thinkin about the past hurts thinkin about the things you said kills me knowning that there is no longer us is hard to grip knowning that your holding someone else at night is hard to handle I’m thinkin about you your prob not thinkin about me as time passes I wonder how you are as time passes I wonder if your ok as time passes I wonder if you fond another girl that does everything right that I did wrong I know we weren’t ment to be but to know I’m not yours anymore kills what little I have left in me I just hope you know that when I said I love you I ment every word I said

things get hard life gets hard… people give up.. I gave up… you gave up… you said a lot of things thats broken me down… I didn’t say enough to make it work… I got nothing left in me… you have nothing left in you.. I fell like there isn’t anything to live for anymore… you crushed me last night… I feel into a dark whole state of mind… but no one but me and you know what it was like for us… no one knows how badly I treated you.. no one knows how little you showed you cared… I ran away sometimes… you ran after me sometimes.. then we both kinda gave up.. on us… I feel like I’ve lost so much in a matter of 21 hours… your not here right now.. and I get why your not… I’m barely here myself… I wish we couldn’t have been different.. I wish I could have been different.. I wish you could have been different.. but I guess if we where different we wouldn’t be ourselves.. RIGHT.. I feel like the last three hours we talked I lost who I am.. and maybe you lost yourself too.. but I don’t know if you did.. cause were not talkin..

witch one is better two thanks so much have a great day!!