What you think of my poem?

Take me by the hand, And show me a world I’ll understand. You can tell the same lie a thousand times, But it never gets anymore true, Let me just close my eyes once more, And pray they still believe in me. I will kill dead this part of me that I hate, That dream is something you can never take away from me. Tragedy on display, you just don’t yet know it. I would do anything just to be left alone, right now. Don’t trust my smile, my teeth are like knives. I’ve twisted your trust in me, Its like your punishing me for my failure. Smoke it up, its a place for us to dream. Tied in knots that can’t be undone. Tear me down, and let me start all over again. They said I’ll never change, But I’m about to prove them wrong. I wish I could think out loud because I just want someone to know, Exactly what is going through my mind.

Often my poems don’t have a rhythm, but I really don’t care about that! I make my poems obvious about what its about. And I like to take special attention to the words that I pick. So, what everyone think? =]

Answer #1

“Smoke it up, its a place for us to dream. “

hmm that shouldnt be there I think… it sounds more like song lyrics really… you should try to put a little bit of rhyming to it…

and exactly what do you mean by “my teeth are like knives”? if youd put just a tiny bit more thought to it you could be great.

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