What do you think of my song 'family of hope'?

I wait and listen to her sleepless night sigh
Children hungry mouths, curled up on their side
Waiting patiently for all eyes to close
Because this is when father beats himself up the most
Stomach talks while dirt slithers his arm
Children sleep, a dream with no harm
The night to himself, he blinks strength away
Doubting himself, he's surprised he made the day
Because his heart breaks every single time
That his family smiles back, and yet does not whine
Cry father
Cry the family man
Chorus:
Is it true, that men do not cry?
What do you call me?
What do you call me?
(2x)
Another day has come, and the family is still whole
Myah and her smile, and her heart of gold
Stomach still empty, rags cling her hips
Daughter on tip toes, giving dad a kiss
Her weak legs tumble from weightless weight
Daddy went to fetch some water, but it was too late
A proper burial, shoveling with a rock
Daddy burried his daughter, hunger still mocks
His heart still breaks every single time
That his family smiles back, and yet does not whine
Cry father
Cry the family man
Chorus:
Is it true, that men do not cry?
What do you call me?
What do you call me?
(2x)
Dust crust his face, while looking at the grave
Maybe there's a world out there, that's the land of the brave
Looking at the sunset he knows it never ends
But tomorrow and the next day, he will try agian
Cry father
Cry the family man
Chorus:
Is it true, that men do not cry?
What do you call me?
What do you call me?
(2x)

Call me a true man (3x) (whisper)
~Lea

7 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 7

ahh this song is sooo amazing... I love it... your soo awesome at this


ANSWER #2 of 7

hi wow you have touched my very being! I to reach out with my words. I'm here by accident really. I'm having issues with my husband been with him for 18yrs I was 15 when we met. I saw a txt mess and it brought me to you. sweetie ty for this song I no now Im selfish in my thoughts. I think you just saved my marriage I realize he is really just trying to survive for "Our Family"

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ANSWER #3 of 7

it's based on the families out there that are having a hard time with money and things like that. and how the man in the family tries to do everything, but it's ripping him up inside. maggot4 and I planned to do the same thing with our songs lol.

Boy Gothic-my new song
ANSWER #4 of 7

wow, I really like that.
what is it based on?.. if you dont mind me asking..

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ANSWER #5 of 7

verry good, deep too. I really like it. your good at this

Anyone read Hope in a Jar by Beth Harbison?
ANSWER #6 of 7

Dust crust his face, while looking at the grave
Maybe there's a world out there, that's the land of the brave
Looking at the sunset he knows it never ends
But tomorrow and the next day, he will try agian

I like that part so much, it touches something in my mind
you're so amazing Lea

keep it up!!!

Writing a song for cousins' wedding?

ANSWER #7 of 7

Hey that's awsome most people who write suck but this blew me away great lyrical genius

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