reallly long , but please help . I need my dad back

Everyone can blame alcohol, but I’m sorry, this is him being a lousy father. Being on alcohol or not (believe me, I’ve had my own issues with it and never blamed anyone else for it) has nothing to do with it.

He has issues. But it may not be as simple as choosing alcohol over family. Sometimes it seems like people are demanding you choose them over yourself (because alcohol makes you feel better, so why would they ask you to be misreable…). It isnt an excuse, but it is how they feel.

Point is, it’s complicated and difficult. But it is never your fault. EVER. And it is wrong of him to suggest it is.

Baldwinwolf is right. He has an illness, and he needs help. You can try an intervention. You can try to get him help. And I would try it. But if it doesnt work, it isnt your fault. You cant fix him. And you shouldnt blame yourself for not being able to. None of this is your fault.

I’m a recovering alcoholic…and have been sober for 22 years…

Alcohol is a symptom of what I call the “ick” disease…People who tell you that you aren’t to blame are totally correct…He’s a big boy, and he’s making his own choices…And, his being an alcoholic, makes ALL his choices self-self serving, selfish and self delusional.

Tho it’s hard to explain alcoholism to people who don’t have the problem…I do know where your dad’s at…He’s probably FULL of good intentions, but then the road to hell was paved with them…That’s why I think your mom should leave him…it might be just what he needs…A LOT OF PAIN…to see himself clearer, and ask for help…The only thing that truly allows a person to change is pain…pain of losing those they love, losing their money, losing their life and freedom…All self changes begin with pain.

You can help yourself, too…(this includes your mom)…There’s Alateen, and there’s Alanon…all people who are in the same shoes as you are…many who have gotten thru the emotional toll that alcohol brings to a family. It’s in the phone book…

p