What do you think about my poem?

+loving the forbidden one+

The first time I saw you, The first time I talk to you, And the first time I laugh with you means nothing to me but as a brother…

The times goes by… I enjoy the moment that we shared together The moment that I used to laugh with your corny jokes.. The times when I get mad at you .. And you still there to put back my aura..

I love the way you talk to me..when I feel all alone The way that you tickle me… And the times that we played,

I love the times you hold me.. The times you held my hands , The times you pinches my nose And my cheeks turning them to blush .

I can’t forget how you look at me Every time that I lost my temper Every time I do silly things… And the times that we caught each other … Looking with one another

And as time goes by and by While we treasured the moments we enjoyed We didn’t notice the eyes of others… Staring on us… When we have each other

They started to built their own story about us.. They started to talk about … Our friendship…and our closeness with their own malice

But still we didn’t care.. And we continue to enjoy each other And we both forgot ,the same blood flowing in our veins

Until one of us ..didn’t expect to fall in love And started to limit our closeness,and it that way it keeps me missing you but, I still don’t have the courage to tell you ..how deep I’m being fall for you

I continue to be part of your day, and to be feel comfort with you Even though I know that it can hurt me in the end

At last ..I got the chance and the courage to tell you everything but… You said nothing but “it’s okay” And it keeps me wondering if you feel the same way for me

I can’t help falling in love with you I can’t force myself to forget you It is hard for me to be away from you and to be desolated And it is not easy to fall in love To a forbidden one” like you

(what do you think)?? ^_^

Answer #1

Very Nice !!

Answer #2

hmmm…

it was beautiful… really great…

but if you want to have a deeper poem… you should improve it…

try 2 improve your synonyms…^^ it will help you a lot…^^

Answer #3

love it so beautiful it come from a angle

Answer #4

I really like it. It has a lot of meaning to it. Nice job! Keep up the good poem writing :D

More Like This
Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Diamond Nail Supplies

Nail Supplies, Beauty Essentials, Salon Equipment

Advisor

KitabDeal.com

Books, Education, Personal Development

Advisor

Shopnobilap

Literature, Online Publishing, Community

Advisor

Silverhints

Poetry, Shayari, Ghazal

Advisor

Great-Essays.com

Academic Writing Services, Custom Paper Writing, Online Essay Services