More Art, Writing & Literature Questions

What do you think about my poem?

Im new at writing poetry so tell me what you think and comment if you can relate:)

Is there anyone out there who feels my pain? If you were ever hurt by a jerk you once dated If you’ve ever been faced with the choice of suicide If you’ve made love with a guy and found out you’re related If you have ever fought for your life but made it through If you are aching, ripping, bleeding inside If you’ve lost somebody close to you And like you feel an empty shell with him gone Please, Please answer my call and tell me that I’m not alone

Become an Expert →

Answer #1

You need to make the words go together a bit more, and keep it where your just drawn into the words, where when someone reads it they are feeling your pain, maybe something like this. It is just an example. :)

Is there anyone out there who feels my pain? If you were hurt by that jerk day by day If suicide was a choice you coudn’t bare to make If you made love to some, just to realize It was a huge mistake If you ever fought for your life, just to make it through If you hurt from inside out, you may have a clue If you have lost someone very close to you And as if you feel your shell is empty, with him gone Please answer my call and show me, that I am no longer alone

Hope it helps.

Answer #2

well it definitely needs some musical aspect to it, like rhyming, or phrasing. also, try putting these things in more of a coded way, like not just deliberately coming out and saying it like that. otherwise its more of a bunch of sentences than poetry.

Answer #3

thanks :)

Answer #4

maybee, put a little rhythm to make it more enjoyable x

More Like This

I want to leave a poem - 1 Answers
I want to leave a poem for people to , tell me what they think
What do you think of my poem? - 1 Answers
I had to right it for English class, I enjoy writing it now lol. This is deep, something you want to keep, you would even go ...
What do you think of my new poem? - 4 Answers
I hope that one day you will see it my way. Till that day, you see it the unclear way For love is hard to give without taking...
Do you think that Lenore from the poem "Lenore" is the same Lenore from The Raven? - 1 Answers
I mean both were written by Edgar Allan Poe, but i wonder if he means about the same girl or not or its just a coincidence. W...
What do ya think about this poem? - 1 Answers
'when I am in his arms im in heaven When I lean into his kiss nothing else matters When I look into his eyes every thing is p...
What do you think of this poem? - 5 Answers
I loved her I cared for her she was my true love she was everything to me evedentaly I was nothing to her she used me a...
What do you think? I wrote a poem! - 4 Answers
I made up a poem, tell me what you think: Willow tree, willow tree why are you so sad? She is no longer sitting on your bran...
What do you think of this poem good or no? - 4 Answers
Before I put the poem down I would like to say. It not weird for a boy to make a poem ( I think :d). And this is the first on...
What you think of my new poem? - 5 Answers
I promised I would always love you , you promised you would always love me I promised I would never let go , you promised you...
what do you think of my poem?? - 2 Answers
what do you think of my poem?? I just started to write occasionly please tell me if you hate it!!! CLOT I am this way and yet...

Ask an advisor one-on-one!

What do you think about my poem?

Poems Please

Diamond Nail Supplies

KitabDeal.com

Shopnobilap

Kathi Sohn's Self-Help Resour...