Poems what do you think?

Stunning eyes Betray your lies Give into the truth Your naive youth They speak a fortune Given away A million dollars Is on display Thoughts strung together Tie your open pain So smile through it all And hop aboard this train… Prepare for the ride Though it may be tough And you may be weak This trip will be rough It will only get harder But if it gets better Please let me know Please write me a letter.


One Who Felt Her smile’s not a smile Just a curve of her lips To match today’s style And be her eclipse

Her hands, these days, Speak louder than her voice, Writing the phrase, To show her true choice.

Her laugh sounds silent, Cliche and fake, To her it’s almost violent, Her insides, they ache.

She gasps at the sight, Of something that’s real, Frightened by delight, That something really feels,

Not invincible or plastered, But vulnerable and in pain, A beautiful disaster, Who melts in the rain.

She reaches to touch it, And at once feels attached, A light has been lit, They will never be dispatched.

What do you think? Any advice? =]

Answer #1

Oh the first line of the second poem is the title, by the way. I should have underlined that

Answer #2

they were REALLY good! you used great descriptive words, and I could feel the emotion in them! good job!

Answer #3

Very well done you need to copyright it to do this do a poor mans copyright print it out thenm mail a copy to yourself and do not open…you are very talented

Answer #4

if you truly wrote that yourself you are gifted , try useing this great imagination in writeing stories and not just poems

Answer #5

Wow that’ really great.

Answer #6

omg!!! I love it. if only you can publish it into a book then you will be famous for your writing.

Answer #7

They’re really cool!

Answer #8

thanks, I’ve been trying to write a story for a while but I get bored with my ideas sometimes

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