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Does this sound like it would b published some day?

(B honest!!!) Nikki started turning into a werewolf, he turned his pain into lust. I carefully whatched as he fell on the floor screaming, “Help me!! Oh God!! Help me!!” His eyes turned gold & his ears began becoming more pointer. Fur began to cover his whole body, His finger tips lengthened. His jacket ripped in half as his shoulder popped out of place. His feet grew longer taring his shoes, his spine grew out causing his to have a tail. He lifted his head as his jaw lengthened & let out a hellish howl. We fled to the forest on the prowl for an innocent soul to murder. STARZ & SCARZ SERIES by: Emily Yochum

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Answer #1

Well, it’s your average, run-of-the-mill werewolf story - done to death. Your spelling needs a lot of work…so does your grammar. The words don’t flow, and the whole paragraph is choppy…you lack adverbs. Might I assist you with an edit? “Nikki’s pain transformed to lust as his tortured body morphed into the wolf. I could barely peel my eyes away from the sight of him, writhing and screaming on the floor. “Help me! Oh God, help me!” His beautiful crystalline-blue eyes turned a diabolical shade of gold and his ears elongated, stretching to a point at the tips. The leather jacket he sported almost daily bulged and tore at the seams as his small frame grew substantially in size. His tattered clothing fell away, displaying a long tail and dark, shaggy hair covering his body. Once the transformation was complete, he took several deep breaths before lifting his gaze towards the moon and releasing a spine-chilling howl. He turned his demonic expression towards me, and I expected a swift death, but instead, he turned and fled into the forest in search of his first meal.”

Answer #2

Watch the movie “An American Werewolf in London”.

Answer #3

WOW! Thatz better than what i have!! I WANT IT!!! lol…Thankz… :)

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