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Poem any good? Needs a title!
Ok I wrote a poem and I wanna know if its any good? It also needs a title… Well suggestions will be kindly aprecciated and constructive critisism would be accepted… Thanks
Put a gun against my head, Pull the trigger with all your might, Pump my skull full of lead, I will die with no final fight, On the ground I’ll be dead, Just kill me soon - kill me tonight, Because death I do not dread, So get my head in your sight,
Soon I’ll be six feet under, At last in eternal peace, This is where I ponder, If my heart was in one piece, Then I start to wonder, And find that my love will never cease,
Now that you know I’m dead, You have tied your noose, You hang it above your bed, Then you make sure you wont get loose, In the note written you said, That death you will not refuse, You wouldn’t mind a shot to the head, But your gonna be hung like a goose,
Then you start to fall, When your soul comes to heaven, You find out there is no mall, But you are not heartbroken, Cause you see me standing tall, You run to me with no caution,
I hold you in a tight embrace, A couple kisses on the cheek, Then I’ll lean back from your face, Should I kiss you or should I freak, I let you know your not a disgrace, Love is where I’m weak,
I give you a kiss to let you know, That I will always love you, Your my personal super hero, Our love will always be true, We fell in love a while ago, And no one had a clue.
wowch. thats really good. =] sad, but its good. loved the symobolism and metaphors that you used. its great. maybe a title like, everlasting love? lasting love? death can’t keep us apart? love overcomes? I dunno–im not the best at making names up. lol. =P but I really did enjoy the poem. =]
BUT DON”T STOP writing poems!! you’re good.
thanks =D
Well its good. but a bit too.. choppy. ahh nvm.
glad you guys enjoyed it =D and aliyah nice word… “wowch” =P and the title ideas are pretty good
something about th sacrifice?personal super hero?warrior?I don’t know…
I say “life , love or death”
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