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Past Lives..Poem.

The Earth’s shaking. That’s not what is shaking me. Everything is spinning. Or, is that just me? Piece by piece it falls. I’m breaking down. Juice me up baby. Make me feel alive again. Everyone else is putting me down. Including you. Don’t make me beg for you. I want to feel, Just as I felt when I was w/ you. You’re the reason why. I just want everything back..

Poem…comments are nice.

[:

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Answer #1

yeah I agree but other than that I think you have REALLY good potential!:)

Answer #2

Comparatively quite good for a start. Needs to be more expansive and engaging but promising.

Answer #3

Those first two lines got me very interested. “Juice me up baby” lost my interest. Very nice start, but I agree with in2themusic – not quite there yet.

Answer #4

strong start kinda loses focous in the middle. could use a stronger ending its ALmost there but not qutie

Answer #5

“The Earth’s shaking. That’s not what is shaking me.”

I really like those lines.

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