My wife wants a separation and I dont understand why?

Im 28 yr old married man with one child ( a boy) around 3 years old .

I have been married over 3 years and I havent been the most honest person. one day when my wife was pregnant I was talking to my ex like friends cause we didnt end up in bad terms so we talked in the phone but nothing happen besides that now I ddint tell my wife cause I was afraid of what she would say. but she found out on july 17 2006 and she was cruched I felt bad and told her that I would never do that again I told her that I didnt want this to happen and after she kicked me out of the house I have been doing things right and been the best father and husband I could be so she saw that and she forgave me so we got back together.

Now during the years we been fighting cause I didnt let her go out with her friends cause I always thought once your married you only have to go out with that person and she was nt happy cause she is a person that likes to go out she is 27 yr old and finally she had enough and she asked for a seperation cause she feels that she is missing out.

I gave her the space but still living in the same house cause our son well she told me that she wanted me back cause she didnt know what she was doing and that was like 5 month ago now she has the same feeling and she told me she wants a seperation cause she wants to know if she what is like is like to be free ..she told me this phrase ..if they gave you one million dollar check woulnt you want to see if you could cash it ?or if it was real ?

I dont understand that but ever since I broke the trust I have been trying to fix it and its not working she wants to live her life without nobody telling her what to do and now im stuck cause I love her but she said she love me too but she is not in love with me anymore and she doesnt know if she can anymore she I guess this is why she wants a separation I tried to go to counceling and tryied to go to church but she said that she wants to make a decision of her own .

I dont know what to do ?I feel like im going crazy I love my son and my wife and I hate my self what I did in the past I just want my family back in my life what to do ?