How to handle my son who is prone to anger?

Be the parent (always looking after his best interests - to develop into a stable, caring, young man of good character) - not his friend.

I don’t think your son’s behaviour is all attributed to your wife. You said he is pampered. By just your wife or yourself or maybe his grandparents as well? How is that linked to anger? He needs to be the centre of attention all the time. Why is he behaving in this way? As a significant other parent, you have to bear a large responsibility for your son’s behaviour as well as your wife. It’s good that you are willing to discuss his behaviour and seek help for it. He’s only 6 but untreated, it would get a lot worse as he grows older.

Dear Ravi,

So many times I’ll hear parents say, ’I have no idea where that comes from; I have no idea what happened there.’ Well, the reality is that if they would stop for a minute, they would find that some of their own behaviors are a reflection, on a different level, of what they’re seeing their child doing.

the best way for parents to help kids handle anger is to show them. They see your behavior. Your behavior is one where you’ll stop, talk and try to work things out using techniques other than aggression. Then they learn that’s the way to do it.

the following components of teaching your child anger management:
1: You and your child should practice a substitute behavior to use when he or she is about to get angry. Some ideas include counting, counting backward or visualizing a picture in your mind, such as a peaceful place or a stop sign.

2: Sit down with your child and figure out some rewards that he or she can earn by practicing the exercises (on a daily basis) and when he or she uses the exercises when frustrated or angry. Don’t skip the rewards – they are essential to the success of anger management in children.

3: Try to think of times when you deal effectively with your own stress and point these out, very briefly, to your child. Also, share your coping strategy with your child to give an example of how he or she could deal with a similar situation. It is also important that your child see you successfully deal with your own anger.

4: When your child starts to get upset, briefly encourage him or her to practice the substitute behavior. Only prompt your child once. Do not continue to bother him or her about using the exercises.

5: Avoid arguing with your child. Everybody loses when a confrontation occurs. You need to set a good example and deal with your child in a quiet, matter-of-fact manner.

I hope I helped, let me know if you have any further query.

Regards, Sajjad Alam

You may find the answer in an awesome course. Called “The Landmark Forum”. Wonderful course. www.landmarkeducation.com.

Or/and watch the movie “The Secret”. www.TheSecret.tv

and check out this clip. http://www.emofree.com/splash/video_popup.asp

and magic dust all over you for having a magical relationship with your son. :-)

I’m also short tempered as well. So is my mom.

my counsiler belives it can be genetic, so your son probably inherited from his mother.

either that.. or he feels as if he needs the attention. something’s bothering him. Just try talking to him, if he won’t talk to you or open up to you..

just let him know you’re there for him, and you’ll always love him. (: I hope I helped(:

I believe showing him how to share should be something early on at least by the age of 3. My 3 year old is also lashing out if he doesn’t get his way. I don’t always let him have his way and this will make for a better outcome when he gets older. Maybe he needs your reassurance and needs to be told he is loved. His mother may not be the problem. I know my exhusband used to blame everything on me. Dad is also part of the parenting process. I have to stick up for her. Have you lost your temper around him enough times that you think maybe you should also look at what you do? At age 5 a child is also trying to prove his independence and will act out. So I say 50/50 on child rearing and independence.
Good Luck Mama K

Well, my lil brother is going through the same thing and my mother had him tested and now he goes to see a counselor once or twice a week that is helping him learn how to control it. He seems to be responding well and using the things that she teaches him to do. My mother was brought up in an abusive home and although she is not abusive, she does have a temper at times. She has found a group called ALANON, which helps people brought up in those types of environments to control their anger in a more healthy way than yelling and blowing up at people. I believe if your wife wanted to, she could attend these meetings online. They are really helping my mom to feel better about herself and her attitude! Good luck!

Dear ravimpillay, It is correct that children will pick up their parents behaviours. Your wife will have to be willing to change her behaviours or you will not have success with your child. Upon saying that here are some tips to helping your child become more happy and more adjusted. Consistency: if you do not follow through every time on consequences you have already lost. Consequences: the child must understand the concept such as a time out, loss of a privileges. Bottom line is good role modelling. Parents become afraid of their children’s behaviours so will give in to make things easier. It becomes their fatal mistake. Sue…good luck

you can’t always pamper him you also need to discipline him at times I have a brother my mom always pampers him = and turn out to prone in anger while I gt like 50-50 pamper+discipline from parents=gd boy

Young children pick up what their parents do..Your son most likely picked up his anger issues from your wife (no offence). Try talking with your son, and wth your wife about anger management.