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Likee my poem??be honest...

this is a poem I wrote plzz tell me if it is good or not…I thought it was good when I wrote it a couple of hours ago,but now I am not so sure be honest lol

Honesty:The Things I Am Not I would tell you I’m happy, but I’m sad. I would tell you all is well, but its always been bad. I’d tell you I’m experienced, but you’re all I’ve had. I would tell you I can smile, but I’m really stuck on frowns. I would tell you I never cry, but my tears have me drowned. I would tell you I’m complete, but I’m really broken inside. I would tell you I have no secrets, but I really have no one to confide. I would tell you I’m really fun, but that part of me has died. I would tell you I’m not scarred, but then I’d have lied. I would tell you I’m fine, but then I would have cried. I would tell you I am confident, but I can only hide. I would tell you I’m awesome, but I’m not. I would tell you I have true friends, but you’re really all I’ve got. I would tell you my heartbeat is ever strong, but it only feels like rot. I would tell you I feel so alive, but inside I’m numb or dead. I would tell you I am mellow, but I can’t keep a level head. you can say I’m perfect despite my faults, but I will never agree. because deep down inside, I know that’s just not me.

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Answer #1

somethings felt very repetative llike I would tell you im experienced/I would tell you I have a lot I friends= but your all that I got (twice) ending good

Answer #2

repitition was something that was intended in this piece. I made it rhyme to be cute. I used the”I would tell you I’m” and the word”but” on purpose,it was part of a sort of list… but thanx 4 ripping my heart out anyway…jkjk I need to hear the truth

Answer #3

I lyk3d it kuz I like rytin po3mz 2 bu “I would tell you” was us3d a lot ..but I lykd it =)

Answer #4

too many words were repeated… tell you the truth, I’m more of a fan of non rhyming poems.

Answer #5

the word “but” was used way to much instead replace it with then or just remove the word without a replacement.

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