Do you like this? Its mine so please ask to use it!

the 3 lines before the last seem a bit off from the main scheme of the poem you can weave them in there a bit better and perhaps you could revise these 2 lines “when im with you my mind is free,” “I cant wait until im free. “ The ending stanza could be more poetic

it’s sweet a sweet poem you don’t have to title it but if you want to perhaps “For My Babe”,”I Love you Babe”,”My Loving Babe” or something like that since babe and love seem to be most recessive, and seem to be the theme of the poem

lol could not think of a name for this so lol

thanks joshey lol, I used ta call my ex boyfriend joshey

I admit, I get cocky when it comes to things such as literature, lol. I’m sorry to hear you’re having difficulties at home. I’ve a friend who just started writing. He’s only been a poet 2 years and has already out dome me and many adults. His work is simply amazing and comparable to those of “professional poets”. http://nyxiathewarrior.deviantart.com/

Work hard enough and you never know. Perhaps you could be like that in another year 1_~

im sorry I was mean… I was just upset about things at home, and thanks for saying its good, I actually just started writing… not like this yr, but last year…

I didn’t say it was bad. The fact that I even bothered commenting says a lot. And as for “I’m only 14”, don’t use your age as a crutch. I’m oly 19 and have been witting since 4th grade. My true talent in poetry started coming out roughly about the age of 14-15. If you don’t wish for constructive criticism then don’t post. But to be honest, it’s better than a lot of other poems I’ve seen on this sight. I feel as though some aren’t even worth my time to bother commenting.

well, gimme a break ok… im 14 for crying out loud and I was just simply writing what I felt for my boyfriend anf that came out of it… I wrote it to him in a not, then decided that it needed a titile so put it on here…

Its pretty good. I personally dont edit my work when I feel its done. I save it and then look at it years later.

thanks, and I will do that

You should name it FOR YOU BABE Sience you know it’s for your love on! It’s really good!

thanks :)