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What are your thoughts on my poem?

I just wrote this one, I hope the subject is obvious.

Reached my hand up between those legs Pressed my clean hands against Your dirty cervix This isn’t familiar at all, I’m afraid.

But when I I Oooh, when I walk out there I could slide right under the leaves And the dirt and then I would Feel warm and unborn and Sounds would be muffled

Or perhaps I’ll just slip under The foam for a minute Yes. This briny gritty teaming with life splash Is the womb from which I must have Burst forth.

Please tell me how you feel about it, good or bad.

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Answer #1

Wow it is really intimate.. and I feel the same as Sika.. took me a few minutes to really.. get int there you know.. Lol. But Yehh.. I really like it. I love all the enjambment and how the lines ‘flow’ into eachother.. it kind of goes with what it means..

Its really kl =]

Answer #2

ITS SO STUPID OJMG YOU SO PRETENTIOUS EVEN WRITING THAT .. OMG THATS SO SHIZ OMG !

Answer #3

Ok, that’s fine, but could you explain why, or what you don’t like about it? Otherwise your comment is pretty useless.

Answer #4

I think she means that it’s very open and intimate. Not sure though Lol

x

Answer #5

very… descriptive…

Answer #6

Thank you!

Answer #7

haha this poem is pretty nifty :]

Answer #8

I think your poem is lame

Answer #9

I love “”and the dirt and then I would, Feel warm and unborn and…” it just slides right off your tongue.

It took me a few minutes to take it all in and realize how the different sections relate. I really like this one, good job!

Answer #10

What do you mean by that?

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