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What is the worst thing your small child has ever said?

I have a kid. He’s five. He’s a little tape recorder. I used to listen to late night radio and he’d memorize and recite the commercials to other people. While I was putting him to bed, he once asked me,

“Did you know that Prolyxis can make you wider and longer?”

Granted, I don’t think he had any idea of what part of me he was talking about. At a birthday party, yesterday, he asked his friend’s father,

“Did you know that if you share Stimulex, its twice the fun?”

Obviously, I no longer listen to the radio while he’s awake at night.

For the record, he doesn’t only advertize sexual enhancement products. He’s also a walking billboard for Rogaine Foam, The Magic Bullet, The 2010 Ford Fusion, Sensodyne Toothpaste and… Credit Solutions and I do talk to him about this. He usually doesn’t repeat something after I’ve told him it isn’t a good thing to say to someone, he’s just five and doesn’t quite realize what these products are or what they do. He thinks he’s being helpful.

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Answer #1

fya ylind, I’d get some mental help if I were you. I’d get some for my child as well.

Answer #2

lol he si just expirimenting and trying to be grown up

Answer #3

Lol I love sensodine toothpaste! It works well!

Answer #4

HAHA , sounds like a great kid ( no seriously not being sarcastic ) don’t even worry , you’re gonna laugh in a month or few.

Answer #5

I’m already laughing. I’m looking for other people’s stories. More of my favorites:

“Wow, your car is ugly. You should get a Cobalt, like daddy’s. It goes 40 miles for gallons.”

“If you used Rogain Foam, your hair would grow back.”

Answer #6

No, he’s not trying to be grown-up, he’s trying to give advice. I’m looking for entertaining stories, not an analysis of my child. You can trust that I know him better than anyone who’ll be reading this.

Perhaps I should have said “Funniest” thing, but I find more humor in things that happen at other people’s expense and on top of that, I didn’t want stories about Little Joey sticking x item up his nose and saying he’s x animal. I hate children who try to be funny.

Mine and most other children who’s company I enjoy, are simply oblivious and that, I find hilarious.

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