What is some advice for this poem called Frown?

Something must be wrong, Things in this world aren’t right. Change has taken over, Cold tears fall tonight.

Lately life isn’t the same, As it was many years ago. It went to being painful, When it once was such a show.

Smiles forced show sadness, Fading oh so fast. Willing to walk alone, And watch the time slowly pass.

Answer #1

first I would take away the unnecessary periods on the fifth line take away the word lately seventh line take away it eighth line take away when it last line take away and there you go :)

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