What am I supposed to do about a horrible step dad?

Alright, I’m 16 years old, just got my license, just applied for a job at Subway. My mom and my dad got divorced when I was 3 years old. I didn’t understand until my mom started dating Mr. John. Before Mr. John, everything was so wonderful. I loved my mother so much, we were best friends. Then she started dating him… I was 7. He didn’t really talk to me until we moved in with him and his mom. Then everytime I came home, he’d tell me to show him my math how, and he tried to explain THE HARDEST WAYS how to do the problems. And me being only 7, I didn’t get them. He would yell and yell at me. This happened everday day. So every time my mom came home, I’d be crying. I had an asthma attack about 3 times because he made me cry so much. I tried running away from him because I didn’t want to hear him yell, but when I ran up the stairs he would always trip me. So this was every day life in that house. When I was 9 we moved to a town-house. He would yell at me for stupid things over there too, and I didn’t understand why. One night, we were eating dinner, and I spilled salt on the table. He just about flipped the table over. I don’t know why he got so mad when I could have just cleaned it up. My mom got really mad at him for being so stupid. And they got in a physical fight… I always think about it. He hit her and pushed her on the stairs and, just… I couldn’t stop crying. My mom told me to go in my room and lock the door. A few minutes later she came in my room with a phone and her keys and she called Mr. Johns friend, and he picked him up for a few nights. And then he proposed to her. I really HATED that she said yes. She knows how he treats me. A few nights before the wedding I told her that I really didn’t want her marryin that man. She told me it would get better, she promised. Here we go, 7 years later. I have a brother and sister now, 2 and 3. It’s worse than ever. Every day I come home, he has nothing positive to say to me. There’s always, ALWAYS something I do wrong according to him. And he can’t just talk to me about it, he has to yell no matter what. He can’t live through a day without yelling at me. He spits in my face when he’s yelling. He’s given me bruises on my arms from grasping me so tight and shaking me. Just EVERY LITTLE THING! It’s not even a big deal, but he has to make it a big deal. And he’s just so literal. Every time he’s yelling at me and I look away, he goes ‘Don’t turn your head like that!’ or “Don’t breahte like that” or “Don’t look at me like that!’. He thinks I’m being a smartass to him all the time, which I’m so not because I’m not that kind of person. I mean, I do stand up for myself, I tell him that he can’t talk to me the way he does because he’s not even my father. He says he is all the time, and he wonders why I don’t consider him my father. Why would I consider him a father if he treats me like this all the time? And when he punishes me he takes away the phone, my laptop, TV priveleges, turns off the lights in my room, and ‘locks’ me in my room; he opens my door and puts a baby gate up. How stupid, I’m 16 for cryin’ out loud! And what hurts the most, is that my mom lets him do this. She used to tell me that I was the love of her life. And she doens’t anymore… she just watches. What am I supposed to do? Am I the one that’s crazy? Please answer honestly. If you asked, I could probably explain things more in detail. Thank you.

Answer #1

im sorry to hear what this man is puttin you true, I know exactly how you feel, I had an abusiv alcoholic father but now I live away from him and hes changed his ways.enuff bout me nyway

okay, just sit your mom down and tell her that this man is making your life a hell and show her the bruises and tell her everyyting, tel her how much you love her and that you need her support, tell her to talk to ths man. and its best if you just keep your head up high for the moment, dont talk back to this man, the best thing to do is to not do anything to provoke him into hurting you again. just stay quiet and talk to your mom and try to sort things out, but you have a 2 and 3 yr old bruver and sister… if he is making their life a misery then mention that to your mom. I dont think that shes gunna leave this man because of her small kids , she dont want them to not know their father but tell her to try and explain to this man that hes too hard on u. gd luck hunn I hope this will wur and I hope things clear up

Answer #2

What you said here, I would write it out (so all your thoughts, hopes, desires, still the love of her life, etc - she may not realize how you truely feel - also you don’t have that long until you’re 18 and can resolve the situation - hope this helps…I wish you the best !!

Answer #3

HI, I am sorry to intearfear in your personel problem.. what ever he may yell you dont bother.. you think him as only a normal human bein… then you may feel the difference…reply me must after reading this message..

Answer #4

HI, I am sorry to intearfear in your personel problem.. what ever he may yell you dont bother.. you think him aas only a normal human bein…

Answer #5

you need to talk to someone at your school or another adult who will listen and who you trust..he has no right to physically put a hand on you in a bad way at all!!! Does he treat your little brother and sister this way? If not now, he may as they get older. Please talk to someone and if you can get away somewhere where its just you and your Mom and she will listen, tell her everything you wrote here…if she doesnt listen…seek out help elsewhere…its not right for you to live like that…and honestly think about what is really happening and what is you perspective…its tough being a teen.

Answer #6

I have the same problem my step dad is an acholic we have got into so many physical fights I ask my mom why does she do this to me? I honestly either he muniplulates your mom telling her you do bad stuff that your lying your hopeless your mom only listens to what he says. your 16 your almost out of there 2 more years get a successful job and get good grades I know how you feel and I know you dont know me but you can hit me up on this thing or myspace if you need someone to talk to its hard living a life like this I feel your pain

Answer #7

just keep your head up kid dont let anyone tear you down

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