Funadvice Logo
Post
More Art, Writing & Literature Questions

poem do you like I t

sometimes I feel trapped, like a hamster in a ball. thers no way 2 get out, and no one hears me call. I want 2 push the escaoe key, iwant to get away. I have to see the sunlight, but theres no other way. my eyes cant see the exit; my hands cant feel the door. I cant do this any longer, I cant take it anymore. caz what if teres no escape key, what if theres no door? waht if theres no sunlight? I can never be quit sure… so ill just have to take it, for as long as I can stand. ill have 2 stay in darkness, unless someone gives me a hand.

Become an Expert →
Answer #1

yeah that part was kinda like what the heck? other wise its great but I would go with somthing more peotic not humoris

Answer #2

I like it, but I don’t like the second line. It doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the poem.

Answer #3

its really nice I love it

Answer #4

the hamster sentence really doesn’t fit the mood, but other than that it seems pretty good. focus on not just blurting out you feelings, but rather stating them mysteriously so the reader is curious.

More Like This
Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Poems Please

Literature, Arts & Humanities, Education

Advisor

Diamond Nail Supplies

Nail Supplies, Beauty Essentials, Salon Equipment

Advisor

Novels Tamil

Literature, Books, Entertainment

Advisor

Shopnobilap

Literature, Online Publishing, Community

Advisor

Printbooks

Printing Services, Book Binding, Custom Printing