Mom of an 11 year old daughter

im 12 and I was there.I wanted sex last year but heres your answer.Tell her about masterbation.It’s a lot safer for her and she can’t get pregnant from it.If she really wants to have sex try and change her mind,maybe give her a dildo.It’s fine for her to have boyfriends but I think he is a bit old for her.Kissing and snogging is fine,but keep her away from sex.If it will make her happy then if she is with a boy she really trusts then get him to use a dildo on her,but don’t let her lose her virginity yet.Wait till she is at LEAST 14.If you can’t change her mind get her on the pill or get her some condoms.Trust me DO NOT let her do this.It will ruin her life.Use some of the suggestions I and others have given wisely. Good luck. :)

Watch who she hangs out with and where she hangs out. Monitor what she does online and set a time limit. Like, only 2 hours on the computer at a time and not after 9 o’clock. That should help eliminate online chatting. Not completely eliminate it, but help.

Also, I would talk to her about it all. She might get mad that you read her diary, but you’re protecting her and you’re her parent. Stop her from hanging out with people who you believe are a bad influence and make sure she’s exactly where she says she’s going to be. Talk with other parents and don’t give in to your daughter. You’re the parent and the one in charge, not her. If she says she’s not going to listen or that you can’t stop her, prove her wrong. Eliminate who she hangs out with all together. Sounds harsh, but better than watching your daughter get a disease that she’ll have to live with the rest of her life, or being a teen mother.

I would also put her on the birth control shot. It’s not permission to do anything at all. It is given once every 3 months and she wont have to remember pills every morning. Teach her about diseases and young pregnancy.

I have a friend who’s 19 and babysitting kids who are six through 12. She’s told me that they talk about things like that because they’re afraid to talk about them with their mother. Do you have any family members who are older, but still teenagers who can get this through to her more effectively?

As a parent, I realize that you want to do everything yourself, but sometimes kids just don’t want to talk to their parents about these things.

All of these ideas are brilliant, but you don’t want to come off as too strict or she will rebel. I am 22, by the way, I haven’t lost touch with that part of my life quite yet, so I know what I’m talking about. Unfortunately, while you can’t clamp down too hard, you can’t be too soft, either.

Have you talked to her about sex? I know it seems odd to talk to an 11 year-old about sex, but I think these are all signs that you need to. Tell her you’re worried about her and do it gently, don’t take the “mom” tone with her when you have this conversation. Tell her you remember high school, when all of the popular people were having sex. They’re all great and wonderful then, but then they get pregnant and no one really wants to hang around with them anymore, once they have a baby. Make absolutely sure she knows the consequences.

You need to work at self-confidence from the same angle. She needs to understand that people should like her for being her and not for what she can offer them. All those people want to do is use her. Make absolutely sure to press these things on her, gently, no matter how many times you find you’re repeating yourself.

I realize that being a parent, you aren’t supposed to be her friend, but it’s best if you can identify certain times when you should be her friend. You need to put being “mom” aside and speak to her like she’s an equal in order to have this conversation or, I should say, series of conversations. Don’t make it a one-time thing.

I should mention, I am in no way saying that you shouldn’t watch her very closely on the computer. Watch who she goes out with. In fact, don’t let her go to a boy’s house alone and make sure you’re acquainted with her friend’s parents, so you can make sure they’re good people. Stalk her. Absolutely stalk her and make sure she knows you’re still in charge, but it’s time to start talking to her about this, validating her and letting her know that you’re not only there to be her mom, but to be a friend when she needs one.

You should ground her take away the computer,phone anything that can the internet. Talk to her about masturbation even if you don apporove its safer than sex.

protection of privacy isnt exactly a big worry in this case >_<

Ground her butt !!! Then deal with it.

Oooh…every mother’s nightmare. I’m sorry you have to go through this.

I’m afraid you’re going to have to stay on top of her. Keep the computer where you can see her while she’s on it so you know who she’s talking to. If she goes out, make sure you know where she is at all times…don’t expect her to tell you the truth…check up on her stories.

The diary - while reading her diary is an invasion of privacy, you clearly need to look out for her best interests - don’t tell her you know about it or she’s bound to hide it and right now, that’s your main method of seeing what she’s up to.

You’re going to have to get strict with her, and she’s going to hate it, but it’s called ‘tough love’ and it’s exactly what she needs right now.

I would sit her down and talk to her and if that don’t work I would take away the computer so that way she could’nt talk to the adult guys online anymore. You should also get her help. I know that this is hard for you to hear but if you don’t get her help she could go of with some guy and get pregnant at 11. im 13 but my older sister is 19. My parents gave her a lot of freedom and she done the same thing your daughter is doing now exept my sister was 12. She met this 23 year-old online and she went off with him and he raped her and got her pregnant. Even after this she kept talking to guys online and now my sister has 6 kids. The first 2 got taken away from her because her parents nor her could supportt them. She has 8 but since the 2 got took away she has 6. After the 6th child my dad finnaly said thats enough. So he took her and got her help. It helped her to because she got fixed to where she cant have kids now.

GET YOUR DAUGHTER HELP!!! SHE NEEDS IT!!!

panter13 I dont think a parent would continue to allow a girl who has been raped to go out unnoticed… im sorry but I think that is a lie…

Never know informer_220, some parents just don’t care anymore. They just let their kids run around with whoever and say, ‘’It’s their life.’’ You don’t have to understand it, but it is very true.

I agree with cant buy me love. there is a girl at our school who would drink and pierce her lips BY HERSELF and her parents wouldn’t say ANYTHING. she would take her clothes off except for her underwear and go into this dirty creek with her crazy friends.

I have an idea what she is probably thinking , she’s probably told all her friends and thinks its ‘cool’ to lose her viginity asap,she probably is boasting to all her friends and saying he is ‘the one’ and ‘he loves me’ when all he thinks is , sex , shes sassy, got big boobs , is up for it. im so sorry to hear what your going through , try to find out who he is and dont let her out unless your with her , harsh I know but its better than her having something like aids or a BABY!!

I have a friend who’s 19 and babysitting kids who are six through 12. She’s told me that they talk about things like that because they’re afraid to talk about them with their mother. Do you have any family members who are older, but still teenagers who can get this through to her more effectively?

As a parent, I realize that you want to do everything yourself, but sometimes kids just don’t want to talk to their parents about these things.

All of these ideas are brilliant, but you don’t want to come off as too strict or she will rebel. I am 22, by the way, I haven’t lost touch with that part of my life quite yet, so I know what I’m talking about. Unfortunately, while you can’t clamp down too hard, you can’t be too soft, either.

Have you talked to her about sex? I know it seems odd to talk to an 11 year-old about sex, but I think these are all signs that you need to. Tell her you’re worried about her and do it gently, don’t take the “mom” tone with her when you have this conversation. Tell her you remember high school, when all of the popular people were having sex. They’re all great and wonderful then, but then they get pregnant and no one really wants to hang around with them anymore, once they have a baby. Male absolutely sure she knows the consequences.

You need to work at self-confidence from the same angle. She needs to understand that people should like her for being her and not for what she can offer them. All those people want to do is use her. Make absolutely sure to press these things on her, gently, no matter how many times you find you’re repeating yourself.

I realize that being a parent, you aren’t supposed to be her friend, but it’s best if you can identify certain times when you should be her friend. You need to put being “mom” aside and speak to her like she’s an equal in order to have this conversation or, I should say, series of conversations. Don’t make it a one-time thing.

I should mention, I am in no way saying that you shouldn’t watch her very closely on the computer. Watch who she goes out with. In fact, don’t let her go to a boy’s house alone and make sure you’re acquainted with her friend’s parents, so you can make sure they’re good people. Stalk her. Absolutely stalk her and make sure she knows you’re still in charge. Set more boundaries, take more control but at the same time, start talking to her about this, validating her and letting her know that you’re not only there to be her mom, but to be a friend when she needs one.

I should add: talk to her about theses things and use what she said in her diary as an example of the sorts of things that people do, but don’t let her know you actually read her diary, that will make things ten times worse. She won’t talk to you about this unless she feels that she can trust you and while I completely advocate that you’re reading her diary, if you really want to help her, she doesn’t need to know that.

Perhaps you can invest in a key-logging software (without tell her about it) so you can know everything she says to everyone on the computer. Limiting her time there may also help, or moving your computer to a high-traffic area where you’ll be walking by every few minutes.

ohh my gosh. thats bad. umm I would just ground her and talk some sence into her. she obviously needs some attention if she has to find it from 16 year old guys. keep her home and spend time with her.

I’m really sorry to hear this. It seems to me that her maturing fast is getting to her. and she probaley feels that she NEEDS this kind of attention because she’s different then other 11 year olds. She could also feel that Because shes so physically mature she should be with older guys. Have you ever seen dateline NBC? sometimes they have stories of young children who are killed or raped, or both…

But anyways I think thats its important that she sees stories like this. You should also make her watch a documentry on STD’s or something

hope I helped.

god bless :)

okay im really srry to hear you have to go trough this… but I think its just maybe shes feelin this guy but he knos she will do it with him so its like a hit and run he has sex with her and then he just well… leaves her and well she doesnt understand that and reading her diary I mean I understand your only doing it because you care but when she finds out she might loss trust in you but just sit down talk to her and teach her that what could happen when you do this at a young age and when you drive her around make sure you know were she is and pick her up from and back were ever you take her school too. I hope I helped you good luck.