Help me with a few life issues.

Hello,

I have been having a few life issues lately. I have recently gone into Year 11 in schooling. I am 16. I am confused with my life. I don’t know where I am going and I’m worried because I don’t have much of a life plan.

I have recently began completing a solo skydiving course (AFF) but to which I have stopped because my last jump not only frightened me but I had a sense of failure from it. From this, I kept questioning myself whether or not I should go back to continue it. I feel as if I’ve developed anxiety from it.

My mind seems to be always racing. It seems everyday I wake up I see my day as the same as before and I lack motivation to want to go to school or even get up. Only just a month ago, I lost my pet bird and that didn’t help with what I was already dealing with mentally.

I planned to get a job and complete my AFF course. I got a job. Worked for one day and quit because I felt that it wasn’t for me and that I was wasting both my time and the other employees time. In other words, I wasn’t enjoying it one bit. I disappointed my father and grandparents. They said I should of kept going, even for another week. Then, suddenly I asked myself a question I had never asked myself before:

In my life, how many big decision have I, myself made.

I decided to do the AFF course, in which I’m scared to go back. I decided to get my pet bird, which ended up flying away. I decided to get a job and I decided to quit that job.

Now I’m in year 11, schooling is getting more serious and I think I need to spend a lot of my time of studying and revising. At the same time, I think I should go out and find a part time job. I am shy and have a confidence issue. I find it hard to talk to strangers without feeling awkward and blushing - it gets embarrassing.

I don’t know what to focus on. I get angry when other people give me their opinions on what I should do. For example, my grandparents saying that I should of stayed working for another week. All other peoples opinions block my own, and I forget and sometimes feel as I don’t have a decision. I feel as my life is people giving me their decisions and opinions.

I feel lost but then I feel guilty because I know I’m not the only person who feels this way. I just don’t know what I’m doing and I feel I’m just going in circles stuck in a cycle. I’m lost in a maze of reality and I can’t get out.

A friend and myself are planning to start and online business. A lot of my closest family don’t think I can do this. They think that I’m oblivious to the world and deem everything I want to try, impossible. I don’t want a boss anymore, yet they say everyone starts at the bottom with a boss. I want to control my own life. I know the online business wouldn’t be that big, but it’s better to be the head of a rat rather than a tail of a lion.

Please give me some advice. I’m so confused and I’m scared that I’m running out of time - that is how it feels. I feel that life is just one big rush. I feel that the world never rests. When I go to bed, sometimes I find it hard to sleep because of the thoughts in my head. I know that overseas, people right now are working and travelling and I just wonder why everyone just doesn’t rest.

Sometimes I feel as if I just want to crawl up into a ball and hibernate for a month of two. I just want everything to go away at times but I know that life and reality are just going to come back and hit me in the face. Only just last year I’ve started smoking pot occasionally with friends and also occasionally drinking. I have friends who have also taken LSD, acid, ecstasy and cocaine. I’m not joking. I feel like I’m caught up in the middle of a shit storm.

I don’t want life to feel like a hustle and a rush but I’m worried because I believe that is exactly what it is. I have tried to eliminate a lot of objects in my life. I felt as if my life was cluttered with too much object attachments so I went through my cupboard and chucked out a lot of stuff. Not junk, but stuff I just don’t use. I feel as if my parents aren’t always seeing eye to eye. My dad usually is always in a state of order. He seems to order everyone around - he is a manager at his work. My mum always tells me how she isn’t happy with their relationship (not directly but I can tell).

I have low self esteem. I use to meditate everyday two years ago but stopped. I wasn’t sure if life was simple because I was meditating, or life was calm because I was only a kid. My life is going too fast for me and I can’t keep up with it. I don’t know what to do. Please give me advice. I have asked for advice of parents, which they have given but I feel that I’m the one in control of my attitude and how I see the world and I’m scared that nobody can help me. I have gone to the doctor and he has said he can organise for me to talk to counsellor but I don’t like idea of that. I just don’t know anymore. I just don’t know.

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Answer #1

Hey first of all.you need to quite pot and drinking.it takes the power from mind.and happening alot of stress can make man depress.everything will be fine.other than anything else your study comes first.so focus on it.set your alarm and make your time table and get back to it because without it you cant achieve much in this big world,remember what motivates you,a goal,that you want to be somebody.to become somebody,find your strength again.what inspires you,like you want to become a doctor or engineer or chef whatever it is,you must have ideal personality,right all the great people did hard work to become who they are.there is greatness in every one of us and we are able to do anything we want.with motivation and inspiration,acomplish anything in the world.these days are important for you so studying and focusing back will be a good step. And as for your part time job.umm i dont know about the online buissness,but i think doing a job would be better.thats your decision to choose between these two as your whole life is budd.your parents may have picked desicions for you because they do care for their son.they want whats good for you.and again back to your job.yes you shouldn’t be doing a job that you dont like,but hey,sometimes we must go through hardship to success.right i did many jobs before i worked in i did have alot of stress i used to tell my uncle that i want to quite and i cant stand it they were like too far from bad they used to say alot of curse words to me for tiny mistakes and the moment i start the day i could only wish when it will end.and my uncle didnt let me quite,in the end i learned how to deal with every kind of personalities and i could stand the stress and i became my boss’s fav after year and half of doing a job that i never liked.but i learned alot.and iam thankful it did cover my money of need so if i quitted that day i wouldnt be where iam today,then after i had some money i decided to have my own buissness so i bought property and entered world of furnitures.it was really good.i had success in young age but then with ups and downs i had to sell it all.plus i was a new guy in world of buissness,but after few months after making plan of every step.adding every possible situation i started again but in diferent field i own now two perfume stores in good plots and buissness is going just fine that i share with my uncle.so like everything i wanted to have i got it now i praise Lord.so upps and downs are nessecary because they both teach you.even if how simple the job is.do it in a best way.and if you dont know it then learn.count starts from zero to unlimited right :).it will be hard in the begining but all will worth it.and meditation is good for clearing mind’s stress.think positive.dont be nervous just dont stress do your best and forget the rest.you have lots of time you are only 16 and believe in your self.remember make a time table again for your studies and go school daily! do the part time job you will learn there how to deal with people.it will take time but all will worth it! believe me.wish you best of luck!!!

Answer #2

You are not the only one who has felt this way, I have been there!

When I was around your age (which isn’t all that long ago) I also had a lot of anxiety about life. I felt like everything was moving too fast and I was scared because I felt like everyone around me had it all figured out but me. But guess what, I’m almost 21 years old, in college, and I still don’t have my life planned out, and that is just fine! You don’t have to have a plan. You don’t need to set anything in stone. Just take everything day by day.

It’s completely normal to have anxiety about jobs and your future. I had a lot of anxiety about getting a job, but I finally went out and did it and I realized that it wasn’t so bad after all. The first week or so is always tough, but once you get the hang of it, it really isn’t all that bad. I think that starting your own business is awesome, but you should still get a job in order to have some sort of income. Starting a successful business also requires some money so you will need something saved up if you really want to kick something off.

Answer #3

Most 16 year olds feel lost and the few who think they are on the right path are almost always wrong. At this point in your life my advice isn’t to try to find what you want to do with your life but concentrate on keeping as many future options open as possible. Get good grades and stay out of trouble. As far as finding peace goes, you need to find your “sacred place.” If you are religious person who finds comfort from it you sacred place might be (but not necessarily) your church, synagogue, mosque, temple, etc. If you aren’t religious your sacred place is the place where you can forget your worries for a time. It might be a physical place, it might be books from your favorite author, it could be music you like but everyone else hates, it might be 15 minutes into your daily run when you get into your rhythm and the beta endorphins start to kick in. Wherever it is you need to go there sometimes and if you don’t have a sacred place you should find one.

Help me with a few life issues.

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